Mommy Life: Our Adoption Story: Quick Clarification

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Our Adoption Story: Quick Clarification

I just wanted to take a brief time-out to clarify two very important points.

In no way am I against the birth family. Even now I would permit the maternal grandparents visits with the children (with me present) if they so wished. They were not a suitable home, but we had no intention of cutting them out of the children's lives forever. We are in close contact with other family members...including the maternal great-grandparents. I would even send Birth Mom pictures and updates if she were willing. However, at this time, both Birth Mom and her parents have declined any interaction with us at all--e-mail or otherwise.

A second point to clarify...during all of this, the children had no idea what was going on "behind the scenes." We did not talk about their birth family at all--they never brought them up and neither did we. When I spoke with the case worker or anyone else about the case, I left the room. It was very important to me that the children not hear bad things about Birth Mom. One day they may read this, and I want them to know that in her way she did love them. She just didn't know how to do it responsibly--and at that time wasn't willing to learn.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to teach Connor and Ariana what it means to truly be loved. To know that they are a valued member of our family and, more importantly, of God's family. That their worth comes from God and not from pleasing men. God has a magnificent plan for both of their lives and I cannot wait to see what it is.

Now...back to our story...

Part 6

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As with many Christian women, my goal is to live up to the ideal Proverbs 31 woman. I would like to apply all of Proverbs 31 to my life (and all of Proverbs!--and all of the Bible while I'm at it!), but especially the parts that are in bold--and ESPECIALLY the parts that are in red bold. I fall short of this on an hourly basis, but that is why it is a goal!

Proverbs 31: 11-31

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, (ha, ha!) for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.