Church Bulletin Bloopers

I just think these are funny...has absolutely NOTHING to do with my kids :-D.

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins.

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking
tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

5. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get
rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."

6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
due to a conflict.

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

8. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who
doesn't care much about you.

9. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

10. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

11. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.

12. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need
all the help they can get.

13. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for
more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Case of Mistaken Identity

I rarely take all of my children to the store unless Daddy is with me for obvious reasons--it's a 4:1 ratio and any opportunity they have to gang up on me they take! However, the "big kids" were being very well-behaved this morning so when all 3 of them asked to go to the store with me, I took my chances and loaded them into the truck to go with me to Wal-Mart (I left Samuel home with Daddy so he could take a good morning nap). Before we parked the car, I had them repeating the store rules: No hits, no fits, Obeeeyyyy Mommy. We sing song it so it is easier to remember. After they repeated it 4-5 times, I parked the car. Before we got out of the car I quizzed them on the store rules: "No...." "HITS!", "No...." "FITS", "Obey, who?" "MOMMY!".

We were ready.

Wal-Mart only has the 2-seater shopping carts so one of the children had to walk...luckily no one minded that Connor was chosen. Although Connor has the biggest problem with grabby hands, he is also the most eager to please and thinks it is fun to run after Mommy. Surprisingly enough, the kids did great! Periodically Honor would tease Ariana and cause her to whine in protest, but a quick review of the rules brought her back in order really quick.

After taking a trip to the pet aisle to look at fish and the toy aisle to look at bikes, about half-way through our shopping trip (the baby aisle to be exact), Connor's potty watch went off so we made a mad dash to the family restroom which was conveniently placed only a few aisles over. After struggling to get the giant shopping cart into the bathroom, both Connor and Honor went potty and washed their hands. Giant shopping cart back out of the bathroom and back to the baby aisle. Honor's potty watch went off. I explained to her that we just went potty in anticipation that her watch was also about to go off. She continued to complain that her watch went off so we needed to go back to the restroom. "What are the store rules?" "No hits...." no more complaining.

I have learned to use Connor's grabby hands for good on trips to the store...basically anything light enough and low enough for him to pick up he gets to put into the cart. I also attempt to entertain Honor by having her count items that we put into the cart. So, for example, before Connor could put the 6 bags of frozen broccoli florets into the cart, he had to run them past Honor for counting inspection. If the item to be put into the cart cannot be easily opened/eaten, Connor is expected to hand it to Ariana to put in the cart, thus keeping her amused and playing on her role as the "happy helper". All of this, as you might guess, adds considerably to the time we spend in the store. But had I been in a hurry I would have left the children at home so this became an enjoyable experience for all of the kids and a surprisingly non-exhaustive trip for me.

Nearly 2 hours after we entered the store, we were finally ready to check out. I was so proud of my children! Up until we entered the check out line we had almost no incidents to speak of. While waiting in line they acted up a little, but nothing like the screaming toddler two aisles down! Connor helped me load the conveyor belt and Honor and Ariana fought over who gets to hold Honor's new pair of big girl underwear. Once Honor placed those on the belt there was nothing left to hold their attention. That was when Honor noticed the tall, fairly handsome gentleman in the next aisle over with white hair (imagine a younger Steve Martin). Pointing at him, Honor loudly asked, "Mommy, is that Daddy?" I am sure I turned a few shades of pink as I responded that Daddy was at home. Luckily she also repeated this information loud enough that those around us knew that yes, she does have a Daddy, and yes, she does know who/where he is. We ran into "daddy" as we were on our way out. He jokingly called out, "there is my long lost daughter!" I informed him that she had earlier asked if the picture on the cereal box was me (again, it was Barbie...Daddy's cereal by the way). When I had responded in the negative, she informed me that I have long hair like the picture so it must be me. What feature on this man reminded her of Daddy still remains to be seen...maybe because he was tall...

New Samuel Milestones

My little man has gotten his 3rd tooth (actually he got it a week and a half ago, but who's counting?). He is now crawling full time...well froggering full time anyway...so adorable! Last night he accidentally pulled himself up to stand--while sitting in the wagon a ball somehow got slightly pushed under his rear and gave him the extra boost he needed to stand himself all the way up...I haven't seen him repeat that yet though.

But my favorite is that he is now (as of this morning) sitting himself up on his own! He froggers around the house in his little hands/knees jumping pattern, then stops, sits himself up like a little prairie dog, looks around to see where he wants to go and then back down into frogger mode. He is so cute!

If he CAN hurt himself, he WILL

That boy! I often find myself muttering that about my dear sweet son Connor. I love him to pieces, but he is ALL boy...with a whiny, girlie cry.
Yesterday we switched Connor and Ariana's beds so that Ariana now rooms with Honor and Connor is by himself in the "Pepto Bismol" room (so named because of the hideously pink walls--obviously painted before we moved in and never changed). We made this switch for Connor's safety. Somehow he was managing to wake up every morning with a new bruise or a new scratch. Since we are so close to hopefully adopting the kids, I don't want anything even remotely suspicious being seen on him--especially on visit days. Connor says Honor did it. Honor says he did it to himself. Mommy says, I don't care, just keep him safe. So we took ALL of the toys out of the Pepto Bismol room and placed them in the blue room (except two stuffed animals with painted on faces).
Connor slept really well in there by himself (Ariana is a whole other story--poor Honor actually called me upstairs last night because Ariana wouldn't get out of her bed and she wanted to go to sleep!). However, this morning I must have neglected to make sure the closet safety latch was actually secured because Connor found his way into the closet during his nap this afternoon. I heard little feet up running around, but I figured it was Ariana who took a nap on the car ride home from their visit (HATE WEDNESDAYS). But then I heard a loud thud. I went up to Connor's room and peeked through the crack under the door. Sure enough I saw the closet door wide open so I knew Connor must be inside.
I opened the door not knowing exactly what to expect. Connor, knowing he was in trouble for getting out of bed and being extremely exhausted from not taking a nap yet immediately started crying. I picked him up without really "looking" at him. When I laid him down in his bed, I noticed that he had something furry wrapped around his legs. Upon closer examination I noticed that it was the short jacket that went over Ariana's Christmas dress from last year. He had pulled them up over his little feet like pants and, since they were 3 sizes too small (even for his arms), had gotten stuck in them. The thud I heard was Connor falling over and hitting his head against the closet wall. I did not SEE anything looking remotely like a bruise, but rest assured by the time the nap is over there will be 3 or 4 giant bruises upon his forehead...maybe a couple of black eyes thrown in for good measure...

My 6 week Stats...

Hey! The "New Body University" program that I was a part of (my support group) has officially ended for the "semester" (6 weeks)...and guess what! I was the "biggest loser" in my "dorm". I lost 8.99% (16 pounds--in NBU, 21 total so far--and 25.5 inches!!!!! 2 whole feet gone!!!!). The next biggest loser was really close...8.63%

Now I've joined a new support group called Women of Worth. And my "friend" Tammy joined it too. Here is what she put on there today...this is just one of the MANY stories like this on my support group... (POP=Perfect on Plan)

(By-the-way...I've been POP with food and water also and fairly good with cardio since cardio is considered taking my kids for a daily walk, but not so good with toning...think I only did it 4 times in 6 weeks!)

-------------------

...I have averaged 2.5 pounds per week over the last 23 weeks...keep waiting for the losses to slow, but they just haven't. I just dropped my goal weight to 157 from 160 - if I'm going to lose 97 pounds, dang it I'm going for the whole 100! It's funny...my "dream body" was a size 10. My 10's are getting baggy now . I will be a solid size 8 and that will be perfect for me (guess it kinda has to be, I haven't found 6's in longs anywhere!).

For those of you that don't know my story, I have been POP with food (except for one meal on December 28)and water since September 17 - have eaten on time and the right things every single day. Can't say as much about cardio and toning, but...that's my focus this year LOL! I started in 20's and 22's, and like I said, I'm now in baggy 10's! I LOVE this program and am living proof that IT WORKS!

Heck, sometime next week I will be officially no longer "overweight!"

Ok, gloating over . My point is, do the program as it is designed, and you will lose the weight.

Dogs

You've most likely heard someone say at some point, "my dogs are like my children," meaning of course that they love their dogs as if they were their children. I know I said that before I actually had children. Well, now I can say that the reverse is true: my children are like my dogs. Not that I love my children as if they were my dogs...I love my children infinitely more than I love my dogs. But rather, my children often behave like my dogs. They only sometimes obey on command. They tend to fight over food if left on the floor. I often find myself yelling, "No!", "Quiet!", and my favorite, "Drop that!" I find myself giving them treats for good behavior. They like to go out for walks. They sometimes eat grass. The boys often put shoes in their mouths. I occasionally have to tell one of them to stop biting himself/others. The youngest "walks" around on all fours. They like to look out the window and communicate "at" people walking past. When told to lie down and stay, they will...for about 1 minute. When company comes over they get excited, run around like mad hyenas and jump on them. When I am busy with one child, all of the others will come trying to nudge their way in for attention. I get infinite amounts of kisses--often wet. They are very very cute and cuddly.

Let's Count!

I like to make every moment a "teaching" moment...I'm constantly having my kids point out colors and shapes, name items they see, and play the "counting game" where we count random things. (Anything that keeps them busy and keeps them from fighting!) Today during lunch I was trying to explain that I am an adult and they are children. After I had thuroughly explained it, I had Honor count how many children there were in the room. "1...2...3...4...5!", "nope, try again..." "oooonnneee....twwoooo....threeeeeee......foooouuuuurrrr.....five!", "nope, let's try naming the children...who in this room is a child?", "meeeee, Cooonnnnor, Aarriaannaaaaa, and Sammmmueeelll", "Right! So let's count them again.","1...2...3...4...5!", "Honor, how are you coming up with 5? There are only 4 children, you, Connor, Ariana, and Samuel (holding up my fingers), that's four!","hmmmmm, well you look like a child Mommy."

Later while at the table, we counted our body parts.
"How many fingers do we have?"
"five"
"And how many on this hand?"
"five"
"So, how many altogether?" (holding my hands up she counts)
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10"
"So how many fingers do we have?"
"five!"

"How many eyes does Samuel have?"
"Two!"
"How many eyes does Connor have?"
"Two!"
"How many eyes does Ariana have?"
"Two!"
"How many eyes does Mommy have?"
"Three!"
Daddy thought that was funny and pointed out that Honor was right..."Two eyes up front and one in the back of your head!"

Quick Note...

I LOVE being my daughter's best friend :-D.

"Mommy Look!"

"I have poo in my pocket." These words said by my eldest daughter had the desired effect of raising my eyes from my darling baby boy. "What was that?" "Look...I have poo in my pocket...and on my shirt!" says Honor as she gets down from her high chair and starts walking toward me. Sure enough she does have poo in her pocket and on her shirt...Winne the Pooh. I do need to teach that child to clarify!
-------------------
Ariana likes to tell me she's pee-peeing..."Look Mommy, I'm pee-peeing!" Sure enough she has her head on a pillow on the couch, snuggled up under a blanket with her eyes squeezed shut tight. It is a favorite activity of my children to pretend to sleep on the couch...now if only they would actually sleep that easily!
--------------------
"Look Mommy, a elicopter!", "mmhmmm", "Look Mommy, a fire truck!", "mmmhmmmm", "Look Mommy, a bird!", "mmmhmmm", "Look Mommy, a bulldozer!", "mmmhmmm", "Look Mommy, a wobot!", "mmmhmmm","That's MY wobot.","mmmhmmmm", "Look Mommy, a motorcycle!", "mmmhmmm", "He's naughty, he's not wearing a helmet.", "mmmhmmm", "Look Mommy, a tree!", "mmmhmmm","Look Mommy, my potty watch!", "mmmhmmm", "Look Mommy, it has lights on it!","mmmhmmm"....this is a typical car ride with Connor. Actually it is typical of Connor throughout the day...his "Look Mommy, a spoon! Is that MY spoon??"...daily ritual gets a little old after a while.

Occasionally I'll actually play along. "Look Mommy, a train!","Really??? Where???","Over there!","What color is it?","pink!","nope, try again.","blue!","nope, try one more time.","orange!","Yep! Good Job!", "Is that MY train?","mmmhmmm"...

And Now What You've All Been Waiting For....

The Potty Watch Review!!!

Well first I will discuss the overall look/feel of the watch...cheap. But they were only $10 each so you get what you pay for. I knew beforehand that it was poor quality (others' reviews) so I wasn't disappointed. They have plastic bands which I think are slightly uncomfortable for the kids. They also have non-replaceable batteries so once the watch stops, it stops for good (probably to keep it from being a choking hazard). Also, the music sounds like the battery is drained, but I think that's just the way it sounds. If you want a higher quality watch, PottyMD makes some that look pretty good, but they are more expensive...since we had to buy 3 of them I didn't want to spend $35/ea on watches!

Now I will discuss how they work for the kids. Ariana loves hers, but she hasn't figured out what the potty is for yet so it doesn't help much yet. All she knows how to do on the potty is go poopie so she tries to do that, but hasn't managed to pee-pee on the potty yet. I think I will hold off on putting the watch on her again until she shows that she knows what the potty is for. Connor gets excited every time it goes off, but he wants to go every time someone else goes so he doesn't really need the watch. However, the watch is working WONDERS for Honor. She is loving it and gets excited when it goes off. She understood the concept right away and tries to do both jobs each time she goes in.

So overall I think the watch is a good idea for a child who already knows what to do, but can't be torn away from playing with their toys to get it done.

Super Nanny

OOOOh...Super Nanny has my life on right now! (4 kids under 4) Well a modified version anyway...my children are a little better behaved...and my "twins" are 3 instead of newborns...I'll see if I can learn some new tricks! Especially the potty training part!

I love watching Super Nanny...makes me feel better about my life! ;-) So far I am "doing better"... we have a set routine, our kids go to bed at night and we have consistent discipline. But their 3 year old is still going potty in his pants on purpose (like Honor)...so I want to see what she suggests about that. Oh...speaking of that...we got our potty watches today! I'm excited to try them out tomorrow!

-------------------------------------
Highly disappointed in Super Nanny...no "secret" potty training tips. She said to the parents that they needed to tell the boy that he was a big boy now and needed to use the toilet and literally as soon as she finished saying those words, the boy ran into the bathroom and used the toilet. And we already do the other tips she suggested for all of the kids such as look them in the eye and speak directly to them with exactly what we want from them...instead of constantly saying "stop that, don't do that, etc." we tell them things like, "you do not play with your spoon at the dinner table. If you continue playing with your spoon, you will lose it." Of course when we are distracted we use the "stop that, don't do that" approach and believe you me, it does not work!

Candy Land

I got the kids a new game today...Candy Land Castle. The kids love it! Well, Connor and Honor love it, Ariana and Samuel haven't tried it yet. I love games. I think they are a great way to teach team play, sharing, and good sportsmanship. Plus this game teaches colors and shapes. They already know their shapes, but for some reason they refuse to learn their colors--probably because I am not an "artsy" person so they are not exposed to them often...mostly because they still eat crayons...

But I digress... Honor and Connor figured this game out really quickly and did a great job of taking turns. Basically they have a gingerbread man game piece that has shape patterns cut out of it. The castle has little shape tokens in it. When they pull the candy cane handle, a shape falls out. If they have the shape on their gingerbread man, they put the shape in the space, otherwise they put it back in the castle. The first one to fill up their board wins. Honor did two things that I thought were pretty cute. First of all, each game board is slightly different (4 different colors and 4 different outfits), but only one of them has a "pretty" in its "hair". Honor noticed that right away and claimed that gingerbread "man" as hers. The other cute thing she did was name each shape as it came out--oval, star, square, triangle, "x", and stop sign. :-D

Connor Blog

My sweet Connor is always a source of amusement. Here are three of my favorites from today (and last night)...

Yesterday Connor got a brand new pair of shoes....the boy LOVES shoes. He can't wait to put them on and show everyone! And so it shouldn't surprise me that he updated his prayer to add in his shoes. His prayer last night (and then again tonight) went like this:

Dear Heaveneee Father,

Mumble, mumble, thank you for my shoes, mumble, mumble, mumble.

In Jesus Name, Amen
------------------------------------------------------
Connor has a problem being heard at times--he has a sweet, gentle voice and he often doesn't wait to get our attention before laying it all out there. This occasionally leads to him feeling upset, understandably, when we don't acknowledge his presence. Tonight it happened once again. When I heard him throwing a fit, I asked him about it. In broken sentences he told me that he was trying to talk to Aunt Steph and she walked off (chasing cousin Luke) without helping him (before I get a bad comment from Aunt Steph...there were a lot of kids yelling in her house at the time so it is VERY understandable that she wouldn't hear Connor's soft voice). I explained to him that he can't just talk to people without getting their attention first...he should touch whoever he wants to talk to on the arm and wait until they look at him before he starts to talk. A minute later I feel a little hand on my arm. "Mommy, I'm touching you on your arm." I grin. "Yes, dear, how can I help you?" "I need the other noise maker" Because he did such a great job of getting my attention, I had to reward him. So, against my better judgment, I went and retrieved the other half of the cymbals and was followed around the house with loud clanging and Connor saying "Yeah Mommy, I'm making music!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Connor likes to pretend to be the "bad guy". Every time he plays pretend with Honor, he always takes on the role of the bad guy or the Evil Doctor (from his Spiderman book)...for example, he will say "I'm Spiderman!" and then proceed to say "I'm the bad guy!" followed by a mighty roar. To which I feel obligated to reply, "but honey, Spiderman is not a bad guy, he's a good guy." Such logic is lost on Connor.

At Aunt Stephanie's house they have a Mr. Potato Head set that comes complete with a Darth Vader outfit (including a light saber....ooooh). Connor does not know who Darth Vader is, but he understands what a black outfit means. Up until today he'd always referred to Darth Vader as the "bad robot". Tonight he came up to me while I was sitting on the floor, put Darth Potato in my face and said, "Hello.............My name is Monster...........I am going to hit you with my weapon." I replied, "We don't hit people with weapons, Connor. And I'm sad that you want to pretend to be a monster...I don't play with monsters." "Oh, I'm not a bad monster, I'm a good monster......let me give you a hug" and I was poked in the eye by the light saber. But how often do you get a chance to get a hug from Darth Potato?

And then there were three...

Today we have our newest climber...Ariana. She is no longer confined to her crib. I am quite proud of her actually--she climbed out of her crib 4 months earlier than Honor did. Of course she had Honor's climbing proficiency from which to learn. So now that is one more child that may or may not get in a daily nap...

Naptime...Final Solution...I think :-)

Okay...I'm hoping I finally found the solution to naptime. It is actually the best so far. The whole "sleep in there with them" thing didn't work...they thought it was fun to have Mommy in the room with them. BUT...both Honor and Connor will take a nap in their room if they are by themselves. Yesterday Honor was really tired so I put her up there and she took a nap! I brought Connor downstairs with me and made him lay down on the couch--he did not take a nap, but he also didn't play around so he was fairly well rested and in a good mood in the evening. Today Connor was acting really tired so I put him up in his bed and he took a nap! But even better, I put Honor on the couch, turned off tv, made her stay on the couch (took MANY demands of "GET ON THE COUCH!), turned on the vent for white noise and sat down at the computer for my "me" time. Lo and Behold--Honor fell asleep! She has been out now for an hour! YEAH MOMMY! So I think I will try this out for a while. The one that is acting the most tired will go to their room and the other will be "forced" to sleep on the couch. At least this way ONE of them will be well rested in the evening!

Happy Valentine's Day

We woke up "early" this morning and made Daddy and Mrs. Kim (our dance teacher) a valentine. I cut out the hearts for each of them (including Samuel) and they signed their names, colored them and put stickers on them. Then they gave them to Daddy when he woke up. Well, Honor wanted to "play" with her heart some more so Daddy gave her valentine back to her to play with the stickers. Well, apparently Ariana got a hold of it and ripped it while Daddy was upstairs. When Daddy came back downstairs the conversation went like this:

"Daaaadddddeeeeeee, your heart is broken!"
"What?"
"Ariana broke your heart!"
"What are you talking about?"
Honor went to the table and brought him over his heart.
"See Daddy, your heart is broke."
"Well, Mommy can fix it."
"No she can't fix it. She doesn't know how to fix your heart."

5 minutes later...

"Daddy, Thank you for giving your heart to me."

Then, realizing this got a really sweet reaction she thought she'd milk it...

"Mommy, Thank you for giving your heart to me."

And Connor, not to be outdone...

"Mommy, I love you." **big hug**

The Cosby Show

The Cosby's are my parenting inspiration. I hope that I can be as creative in my parenting as they are. I know they are a fictional family and that the kids are only allowed to do what the writers wrote for them to do, but the writers' solutions are fantastic! My favorite episode is the one where Theo wants to get out in the "real world" and they change the house into Hotel Huxtible to give him real world experience. :-D These are the kinds of things we can do as home school parents so I hope I remember this when my kids are teenagers! I also like the very first episode. Theo brings home a bad report card and Cliff gets sent upstairs to "kill" him. First Theo says that he doesn't need to get good grades because he isn't going to go to college--he's just going to get a "normal" job like a gas station attendant or something like that. Cliff pulls out the monopoly money and shows him that people without a college education tend to end up living paycheck to paycheck. Then Theo pulls out the big guns and gives this long, emotional speech about how maybe he wasn't meant to be a doctor or a lawyer like his parents and if they didn't have the jobs they have, he would still love them anyway and so why can't his parents just love him for who he is? And the audience cheers and thinks its a great speech. Then Cliff says, "Theo....(and you think he really had a heart change...until his tone completely changes)....That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! You are afraid to try because you are afraid your brains will explode and ooze right out of your ears! Now you are going to try and you are going to do your best because I am your father and I say so. I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" Then he calls him over to him and he tells him he loves him and his mom loves him too. **applause** What great parenting! He did not let his son work him over...he stuck to his guns and got to the heart of the issue--that Theo was being lazy (well, later we find out he has dyslexia, but at this point he was just being lazy), and that he needed to try harder.

I think great parenting is being able to think on your feet because your kids are going to try to out think you at all times. Honor and Connor are doing a great job of it right now. Yesterday I got a knock on my door...it was the neighbor kids, "Can Honor and Connor come out to play?" "No, they are taking a nap right now." "Oh, because they have been waving out the window at us for the last 15 minutes."

Yes, I love my children...but I am not smart enough to keep up with them!

If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em!

So after spending another exhausting afternoon running up and downstairs, I had an idea. I might call it a brilliant idea. I brought up a comfy down blanket and laid it on the floor, topped it with a pillow and another soft blanket and took a "nap" with the two offenders. They may not have went to sleep (I am not sure Honor did), however they remained in their beds and were quiet for well over an hour. Success! I am intending to do this from now on...or at least until they take naps on their own. Everyday I will put them to bed like usual and come downstairs with Samuel until it is time for his nap. Then from 2-4 I will hang out in their room. Some days I might just bring in a book since I am not the best napper in the world, but today I was tired. I am giving up my "me" time, but at least I will make sure they take a nap...and it will force me to rest as well! :-D

So if you call between 2 and 4 and you don't get an answer, you know why!

I'm Serious!

The conversation between Daddy and Honor went like this:

"Honor, turn around and sit on your bottom"

"Daddy, don't eat Samuel"

"I'm not eating Samuel I'm playing with him"

"Don't eat the baby, share the baby" (a quote from Chef Pig on Word World..."don't eat the food, share the food")

"Honor, TURN AROUND and eat your food!"

"You're not the boss of me!" (a quote from Daddy)

"I am too the boss of you, now turn around and sit down"

"Stop teasing me Daddy!"

"I am not teasing you...TURN AROUND AND SIT DOWN!"

"Stop teasing me Daddy, I'm serious!"

Daddy and Mommy burst into giggles...we couldn't help ourselves. After Daddy regained his composure, he had Honor apologize for being disrespectful. She finally turned around and ate her food.

Poor Connor...

He tries to be a good boy...he really does...but Honor is a VERY bad influence on him! I can hear him on the monitor telling Honor to get back in bed and be quiet, but within minutes I hear a change come over him and he is the loudest of the two. When I go up there to tell them to be quiet and tell Honor to get back into bed, Connor tells me "I didn't get out of MY bed." That is his most annoying habit right now...he feels the need to tell me that he is not doing whatever it is that the other child is getting in trouble for. Haven't figured out how to stop that yet...

Last night I let them take two toys each into their room so they would have something to keep them busy when they woke up this morning to keep them from completely removing the curtains (which I am seriously debating nailing to the wall!) or destroying their beds or some other thing that I am not smart enough to anticipate. This morning I could hear jumping...I go into their room and Connor has his mattress lifted up over his head and he is "looking for treasure". After he has received his punishment and is crying, he chooses to show me what was in his mouth the whole time--the nose off of his little boy doll...just the perfect size for a little child to choke on! After breakfast, I went through all of their toys and chose 3 stuffed animals each that have nothing but painted faces and put a few indestructible board books on their toy shelf that is drilled to the wall. I even took down the Noah's Ark that was mounted on the wall on the off-chance that they might throw their toys up there and knock it down and Connor should choose to be hungry and choke to death. Now I think that the room is FINALLY completely toddler-proofed. I'm sure they will prove me wrong.

No Askident

My darling children are being potty trained. They have been working on potty training off and on for well over a year now. Both Honor and Connor understand the concept, but it is like pulling teeth to get them to stop playing long enough to use the potty so inevitably they have accidents almost daily (or askidents as Honor calls them). So I am seriously considering getting them a potty watch. I saw this in a baby catalog that comes to me for some strange reason--I've never ordered anything from them. I am sick of having a battle of wills with them EVERY time it is time to "go". This watch is set to go off at pre-determined intervals and is supposed to make them excited to "go". Plus its a watch and anything that makes them think they are "big like Daddy" excites them. I'm going to go ahead and get one for Ariana too. She seems to want to "try" right along with them. We'll see how it goes.

Potty Time, Inc.

To Wean or Not To Wean...That Is the Question

Okay...weaning is not going so well. I am still nursing Samuel 3-4 times a day...the longest of which happens at bedtime. I am fine with continuing to nurse him, I just wish he'd make up his mind!

On a related note...I held him today while I weighed myself on our bathroom scale, and it appears that is almost 21 pounds!!! At 7 months that seems like a lot. If that is correct then I finally have a chubby baby!!! :-D

I Win!!!

Throughout American history there have been many battles: the battle of Bunker Hill, the battle of Gettysburg, the battle of Normandy, but probably the most infamous battle of all is the battle of Nap time. This longest and hardest fought of all battles has taken place on many fronts. There have been some victories, but many losses. Today, I fought in that battle. Today, I am happy to report that the parents won.

The battle was not without some casualties. Poor Samuel was left to fend for himself with a bottle that he wasn't quite sure what to do with while his Mommy continually ran up and down the stairs to Honor and Connor's room. He was then laid to rest in his room without so much as a single rock in the rocking chair as Mommy hurried back to the children's headquarters hoping to negotiate a treaty to end the war early. It was not to be. The children broke the treaty minutes after it was negotiated and Mommy had no choice but to lay down the law..."If either of you sets foot on this floor before nap time is over, ALL of the toys in this room shall be removed." Mommy had only moved 2 feet outside the door when Honor ran to the ball that was across the room and proceeded to try to play catch with Connor. True to her word, Mommy removed every single toy from the room, including their beloved stuffed pets that they keep on their beds with the warning that spank bottoms were next. To Connor's credit, he tried to be good. Mommy could hear him over the baby monitor telling Honor to get out of his bed because he didn't want a spank bottom...Connor did not get a spank bottom, but Honor did. As a matter of fact, Honor got several spank bottoms during the 2 hour battle. Mommy entered that room at least 15 times. The battle was finally finished when Mommy finally got angry. She should have seen it coming. Without toys in which to confound her enemy, the ingenious General Honor would need to find something else to attack with...Honor had done it before in a prior battle in her previous room. But, Mommy didn't see it coming...and Honor pulled down the curtains, bending the curtain rod in half. The wrath of Mommy was finally awakened. Honor did not get a spank bottom for this as Mommy makes it a point not to spank when she is angry. However, she did get yelled at. This is one thing that the children seldom get to witness...and a tongue-lashing by an angry Mommy is enough to scare even the hardest of war criminals. So Honor finally decided to stay in bed and within 10 minutes was fast asleep. Connor however did not fall asleep until much later, but he stayed in bed and was quiet.

Now how does that saying go...Mommy may have won the battle, but the war is not over. We'll see how tomorrow plays out...

Dear Heavenly Father...

I love listening to my children pray at bedtime. For the most part I do the praying, but periodically they will offer to pray. When Connor prays it goes something like this:

Dear heavmmmeee Father,
Thank you mumble, mumble, mumble
In Jesus Name, AMEN

But Honor expounds a little more:

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for my toy, and Ariana's toy and Connor's toy and Mommy's toy and Daddy's toy. And thank you for playing outside. And please help Mommy and Daddy and Ariana and Connor and Samuel and Honor to be respectable. Mumble, mumble, mumble,
In Jesus Name, AMEN

I think she just adds as many names as possible to make the prayer that much longer.

Now although it is cute that she can say "respectable", what she means is "respectful". Honor is going through a talking back phase and she is often told to apologize for being disrespectful....to which she always replies, "I'm sorry for being respectable." It is awfully cute!

I feel sick Mommy

Okay, I am a horrible mom, I admit it. My darling daughter, Honor, woke up this morning and said that her tummy hurt. Thinking she was just hungry because she didn't eat enough last night, I went ahead and got her ready for church. She was acting a little sluggish, but I assumed it was because she didn't take a nap yesterday and woke up really early this morning (see the post from yesterday). I even gave her a full glass of milk plus milk in her cereal. By the time we were ready to go, she was acting normal so I figured she was fine. BOY WAS I WRONG! We got to church and as I was walking Connor and Honor in, Honor leaned over and out came everything she ate this morning all over the sidewalk. I felt horrible! Not only was Honor really sick, but now I had to put the kids back in the car and go home without going to church. Connor cried for 20 minutes straight :-(. Thankfully Honor hasn't vomited since. In my defense, both Honor and Connor like to pretend they are sick often--especially if Daddy has been sick (which he was this week)--so it is really hard to tell when they are serious. But that doesn't make me feel any better...poor Honor!

We're Free!!!

Today we moved Honor into "Connor's" room, Ariana into "Honor's" room and Samuel out of our room and into "Ariana's" room. I am looking forward to being able to go into my room again! However, this does take its price...Honor and Connor won't be taking very many naps from now on so I will have to deal with tired children in the evening. They will still take "rests" during the day so I will have a little break at least. Hopefully they won't kill each other during their rest time.

I can do this in my sleep!

Sounds like bragging rights, huh..."this "job" is so easy, I can do it in my sleep!" Well, not so. You see, last night I was so proud of Samuel. I was sure he had slept completely through the night until 6:30 am. He had made some noise around 1:15 or so which woke me up enough to remind me that I needed to use the restroom. While I was up, I decided to make his nightly bottle that he usually likes to have between 2 and 3 figuring I could keep him from screaming while I took the time to make it. I set it on the bathroom counter and went back to sleep. Samuel woke up hungry at 6:30 and, being the "good" mommy that I am, I went to grab the bottle that I made 5 hours earlier to feed him. Imagine my surprise when I found it next to the rocking chair completely empty! Apparently I got up, fed my son, put him back to sleep and put myself back to bed without actually waking up. Kind of scary if you ask me!

Bragging Moms

I'm copying this from my Parenting Magazine...I thought it was pretty funny...

Things You Wish You Could Say to a Bragging Mom (we've all met them and at times have been them....)

-When your daughter wins a Pulitzer, she better remember to thank you for teaching her how to read The Iliad at the tender age of 3.

-Well, thank goodness my kids are cute, or else I'd have to trade them in for your smarter, perfect model.

-Come on: let's just arm wrestle. Winner takes Mom of the Year award.

-My baby talks too--he just doesn't want to show off.

-It's good you only buy organic juice--it'll help wash down the crackers your child just ate off the sidewalk!

Why Adopt?

(Warning: for those of you who may know what I am talking about, don't comment on specifics please for confidential reasons...the web has eyes!).

I was asked today why I NEED to adopt additional children since I can have children of my own (and with very little difficulty I might add). The person was well-meaning in that they understand how difficult it is to have so many small children at one time and they are worried about me over stressing myself. And surprisingly enough, I get asked this question a lot by strangers in the mall play area when they learn about us wanting to adopt Connor and Ariana when we already have two "natural" children. So they deserve a well-crafted answer.

The simple answer is because someone needs to adopt them and we have a loving home to provide. The selfish answer is because I love children, but I hate being pregnant! The charitable answer is because they came from a life where they were considered of secondary importance and I want to see to it that they have a chance to experience the love of a God who thought they were so important that He sent His ONLY Son to die so that they could spend an eternity with Him. The smart-alek answer is because I want to do my part for the environment...population control and all that. You can take your pick.

The Sweetest Thing

The sweetest thing in the whole wide world is the love that my children give me everyday. I hear it in Honor's voice as she asks me to play with her. I feel it in Connor's hugs as he clings to me at any given opportunity. I see it in the twinkle in Ariana's eyes as she grins up at me while leading me around the room. And every time I walk past him, Samuel's little face lights up and I know that he loves me too. The love of a child is the sweetest and most precious gift God has ever given me (outside the gift of His own Son). It is not hard for me to count my many blessings on an hourly basis and I am so very thankful that God has trusted me with these children and I pray that they will always know how much I love them.

I Can Do It

Ariana is 2. I remember hating the "I can do it" phase when Honor and Connor went through it, but it seemed like they were a little older when they started. Ariana "can" buckle herself into her high chair, put on her clothes, wipe her own bottom during a diaper change, put on her own socks and shoes and do her own hair...

which is to say she spends 15 minutes trying to buckle her high chair and then asks Mommy to do it; she struggles with her pants for 20 minutes continually putting her legs in the same pant leg until Mommy forcibly holds her down to help her get that far (then she pulls them up herself and shouts "I Did It!"); she actually can put on her own shirt once I put it over her head; Mommy holds her hands above her head so she doesn't stick them "down there" during a diaper change; she takes her shoes and socks off in the car and then screams because they don't feel right when the heel of her shoe is place where the toe should be; and don't even get me started on what happens when she does her own hair! (lets just say that "rats nest" doesn't quite cover it and the screaming that ensues when I then have to hold her down to detangle her hair could wake the dead).

 However, I encourage her to try to do whatever she can...the sooner she really "can" do it, the easier life will be for all of us. Plus the "I can do it" phase is also the "let me help" phase and she absolutely adores helping Mommy put away groceries, pick up toys and garbage off the floor, and any other little task I can think of for her to do. So you got to love the "I can do it" phase....because if the older two are any indication, it soon turns into the "Mommy, I can't do it" phase and I REALLY disapprove of that!

My Day

It seems like I never have time to actually play with my kids.

My day runs like this: Get the kids up at 8, put them in their high chairs, feed them, get them out of their high chairs around 9, put Samuel in the high chair, feed him, get the kids dressed (reminding Honor and Connor over and over to get themselves dressed), put Samuel down for a nap. It is now around 10:30. I can play with the big kids for 30 minutes. Around 11 I have to eat my mid-morning snack and make everyone's lunch. Around 11:30 I put the kids in their high chairs, feed them, go upstairs and get Samuel, feed Samuel. It is now around 12:30. I put Connor on the potty, and take Ariana up to bed. Around 12:45 I put Honor on the potty. I've been allowing Honor and Connor to stay up and play for 15-30 minutes. They go to bed around 1:30. I eat my lunch. Then I put Samuel to bed. It is now 2:30. I tell the kids to be quiet and go to sleep, then I do dishes, pick up toys, sweep the floor, throw in a load of laundry and vacuum. It is now 4:00. I check on the kids...they are usually still asleep (meaning they played in their rooms until 3:45 and just fell asleep). I have 15 minutes to myself. Samuel wakes up. I feed Samuel, get the kids up, change diapers, give out snacks/sippy cups. It is now 5:45. I can play with the kids for 15 minutes. 6:00 I start dinner, 6:30 I get kids in their high chairs, feed kids and myself, feed Samuel, get our nightly phone call from Daddy who is now at work, get kids out of their high chairs, put Connor on the potty, put Ariana and Samuel in their 'jamas, put Honor on the potty, put Ariana to bed, lock Honor and Connor in their toy room, put Samuel to bed. It is now 7:45. I play with Honor and Connor for 15 min. Around 8 we have our nightly devotionals, then they go to bed. I clean up the night time dishes, pick up toys, feed the dogs. It is now 8:45. I have 30 minutes to myself. Husband calls. 9:30 I go to bed. 11 Samuel wakes up. Samuel wakes up again at around 3. Samuel wakes up again around 6. Samuel wakes up for the final time around 7:30, I get up and take a shower and my day starts all over again.


Now granted this is what my day is like on days when we don't go anywhere. I am capable of moving them around faster than this. And I do spend the entire time they are up talking with them and singing with them and answering "Mommy, what's that?", and "But, Why?" questions. But we don't actually have a lot of time to "play" together. Luckily there are 4 of them and they play with each other, but I feel left out!

Through a Child's Eyes

You have to love the fact that to your children you are the most beautiful, intelligent, caring person in the whole world. My children honestly believe that their Mommy can do anything. If I told my kids that I made the flowers bloom in the spring, they would stand amazed as they saw each flower opening, wondering how Mommy does it. They expect me to be able to jump 50 feet in the air to retrieve lost balloons. They wait for me to stretch my arms through tiny holes to retrieve dropped snacks. I am my daughter's hero, she wants to be just like me...she's told me so numerous times. So it really shouldn't surprise me when we are walking down the mall and she sees a perfectly proportioned mannequin and points it out to Daddy as "that's Mommy". Or when she points out the Barbie on the back of Daddy's cereal box and says that's Mommy also. It shouldn't surprise me, but it does.

Frogger

Samuel has learned to crawl!...sort of.

He has been rolling for quite some time now and is getting pretty good at getting around with that mode of transport, but I've been trying to work on crawling with him. Well today he finally did it. He stood up on all fours in his standard "rocking" position that he's done for longer than he's been rolling. Typically this tends to move him backwards rather than forward, but I figure any movement is good so I got into my "stance". I got on my hands and knees in front of him and called him forward with an excited voice and my hands waving around madly to get his attention.

After I pushed the dogs away, I called for him again. With his little face beaming, he scooted his back two legs forward in almost a hopping motion. That pushed him forward and to get his balance he moved his hands forward and he got me! He was so excited! We were able to do it two more times, however, when I pulled the camera out to get it on film, he decided that he needed to get to me a little quicker (or at least get to the camera a little quicker) and I couldn't get him to stop rolling to me to try again. We'll try again after nap time.

Scary Mommy

I hate to admit this, but Samuel is the cutest when he is scared. He lets out the most adorable high-pitched cry and his face turns pouty and it is just soooooo cute! I found this out today when I went to pick him up for his morning cereal. He was playing with his blocks just fine when I came up behind him and grabbed him under his arms. The poor little guy screamed and pooched out his lips and I immediately cuddled him. The funny thing is, Daddy was in the kitchen and came running over to take his son from the "offending Mommy". As "the Hero" took a few steps away, Samuel practically jumped out of his arms to go back to his Mommy (the real baby protector).

He Told Me To...

I just found out the other day that Samuel can talk...and quite well I might add. He never talks to me--he babbles periodically, but no actual vocal communication--however, Honor swears that he tells her to turn on "his radio" (the mobile inside the play yard that the kids know they are not supposed to touch). He also tells her to throw blocks in the play yard with him--nearly missing his head each time.

I don't know if I believe her...she also tells me that Connor wants her to stick her feet in his face while he is screaming in the back seat...

The Negotiator

Yes, we spank our daughter....and not nearly as often as we should! But she's getting to that age where she understands what will get her a spank bottom and still chooses to do it anyway (we are fairly clear about what gets what punishment so the kids know and it is not a surprise). For example, today while driving home, Honor stole Connor's toy. Although she stole the toy, I didn't interfere since she could not have stolen the toy without Connor handing it to her first so it was really Connor's fault (she can't reach him unless he reaches out to her). But then she made her "2nd" mistake by unbuckling her seatbelt--she knows this is naughty and yet, unless we duct tape her buckle shut, she continues to do it (thankfully Connor always tells her to "buckle up!" so she is never unbuckled very long, but still very scary!). I stopped the truck and duct taped her in (she considers this punishment...Connor surprisingly enough LIKES to be duct taped in, but that's a whole other issue). Then she made her 3rd mistake by waving her foot in Connor's face and kicking him. At this point I told her she would be receiving a spank bottom when we got home. After Daddy unloaded the other 3 kids, I stayed in the truck with Honor for a "talk". I asked her what she did that was naughty and she listed off all 3 things. Then I told her that because she chose to be naughty, Mommy had to give her a spank bottom to help her remember not to be naughty in the future. It was at this point that she agreed that yes, she did need a spank bottom...however she felt that she should only get a "slow" spank bottom and that I shouldn't pull her diaper down. It is often difficult not to laugh in the presence of one who is so intelligent. I gave her a normal spank bottom with her diaper down. We hugged. I told her I loved her and that she shouldn't do naughty things. She went inside and apologized to Connor and gave him a hug. He forgave her. We'll see what happens tomorrow...