Proselytizing

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So today we had a man come to do the yearly maintenance on our air conditioner. The kids were overjoyed that we had a "visitor"...they LOVE company. Of course, I tried my best to keep them from pestering the man, but Connor is undeniably curious.

"What is that?"

"Are you going upstairs?"

"Do you want to see my space shuttle bed?"

"What are you doing?"

"Do you want to see my transformer?"

Actually, the list could go on and on because Connor (and the others as well, but mostly Connor) wanted to show him everything he owned. The man was very nice about it all. It was obvious that he had some experience with small children.

At one point, the man went outside to actually look at the air conditioner (there is a lot that he does just making sure the air is cool in the house and the ducts are clean, etc.). He asked me to come out so he could ask me some questions. I left the kids watching "Bob the Builder" and went outside for a few minutes.

When we came back inside, Connor greeted us with a picture he drew. It was a circle with some lines sticking out of it for a body and arms (my kids don't usually do legs for some reason). Basically it looked like one of his normal stick drawings, except it had a line coming out of his head. I thought it was a drawing of either Connor or the man (since there wasn't any hair...girls always have hair).

"Look Mom! I made a picture for the stranger! It is Jesus on the cross!"

That's my boy!

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That BOY!!!

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SIGH. I have a boy.

After lunch today, Connor came running into the living room wearing his power ranger costume.

"Look Mom! I'm a knight!"

"mmmhmmmm"

He ran back into the toy room and emerged a minute later wearing a breastplate and helmet.

"Look Mom! I'm a knight in shining armor!"

"mmmhmmmmmm"

He ran back into the toy room and emerged a minute later wearing a blanket around his neck.

"Look Mom! I'm a superhero knight in shining armor!"

"mmmhmmmmmmmm"

My son is so creative!

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Speaking of interesting outfits...

Sometimes Connor does things that baffle the mind. I mean, truly baffle the mind.

Daddy and I are teaching children's church for a couple of months. I enjoy it, although I miss listening to the sermons--I love our pastor. Today was one of those days when I questioned if me teaching my children's class is a good idea.

We were in the middle of singing "Only a Boy Named David" when I looked down at my little boy, who happened to be sitting in the front row. The first thing that caught my eye was the fact that he was not singing, but rather, he was whispering animatedly to his little friend. Then my eyes traveled downwards to see what it was they were looking at. Lo and behold, my son was sitting on his little chair...with his pants down around his ankles, working on putting his superman underwear down there too.

When asked why he did that, "I don't know."

And that is all there is to say about that.

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Animal Magnetism

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In order for our girls to take a nap, they must be separated. Since they share a room, Honor typically takes a nap in our room. Unfortunately, that means that either Daddy or I have to take a nap with her or she will sneak out. Yesterday it was Daddy's turn. Before nap, they had the following conversation:

Honor: Put your arms down!

Daddy: No. I like to have my arms up when I sleep.

Honor: But I don't want to have your fur in my face!

Daddy: What are you talking about? I don't have any fur!

Honor: Yes you do! The fur in your pits!

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WHY?????

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Can someone please explain to me why my child waits until someone else is on the toilet to decide that she REALLY needs to go NOW. Yet, when I tell her to run upstairs quickly and use the toilet up there before she has an accident, she takes the time to make sure that her food/toy/book is "safe" from other children--all the while dancing around--so that by the time she actually gets up stairs, she doesn't have time to take her underwear off and pees all over the floor. WHY?????

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Merman or Mermaid?

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While making a mermaid with his play dough...

Connor: When I am a man, I want to be just like Ariel.

Mommy: You mean, you want to be like Eric?

Connor: No! I am going to be just like Ariel!



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Thomas Train Blanket

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Daddy did devotions with Connor, then came into Samuel's room where I was putting him to bed.

Daddy: "Just so you are prepared, Connor is going to ask you to get his Thomas blankie out from behind the space shuttle bed. Don't try to move it or you will hurt yourself."


For his birthday last year, Connor received a blue teddy bear, which he named "Fred". Fred has a baby blanket that has Thomas on it. Somehow this blankie got between the space shuttle bed and the wall.

Connor: "Fred's Thomas Train blankie is back there" (he points to the wall)

Mommy: "That's too bad, Son. We'll have to get it when we move."

Connor: "Well, you could move the space shuttle bed and get it out."

Mommy: "Aww...no, Son. I would if I could, but the bed is much too heavy for Mommy to move."

Connor: "Well, Daddy could do it."

Mommy: "Maybe he could, but the space shuttle bed is VERY heavy. I think it would be better if we just wait until we move, then Daddy can take the bed apart to move it and it will be easy to get the blankie back."

Connor: "Oh."

Mommy prays.

Connor prays.

We discuss how much I love him and how much God loves him--even when he is naughty, Mommy and God still love him very much and nothing he could do could make us not love him.

Connor: "That's nice. I like that."

Mommy: "Yeah, I like that too."

Connor: "God likes it when I'm good."

Mommy: "Yes, but He loves you no matter what. It makes him sad when you are naughty, but He still loves you."

Connor: "When I am a man, I will be good."

Mommy: "That's good, Son."

Connor: "And when I am a man, I will make my son a space shuttle bed."

Mommy: "Yep, you could do that."

Connor: "Yeah...and when he loses his blankie behind it, I will move the space shuttle bed for him."


...the kid has a one-track mind!

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Daily Catechisms

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At the homeschool convention, I stopped by a booth of one of my favorite "stores" (I put that in quotes because I've only ever seen it online), Doorposts. Sitting out on their table was a couple of booklets entitled "The Catechism for Young Children" and I thought to myself, "hmmm...this would be a good thing to go through in the mornings after breakfast...5 questions a day." We are on day 2 and doing great :-D. The kids love the cartoons accompaning the lessons and so far they've known most of the answers so they think they are pretty smart.

Today's lesson was on the attributes of God.

The last question was: What is God?

The correct answer was: God is a Spirit and has not a body like men. John 4:24

We talked about what a spirit is. They repeated the answer a few times. "Does God have a body like you and I?" "NOOOOOO" "What is God" "SPIRIT!"

Okay...they got it down. Now time to review the questions. The first 3 they nailed, no problem. Then we got to the question "What is God?"

Honor: "He's a pencil!"


sigh.

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Another Ariana Story

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Once upon a time, there was a little, little princess named, Calli. And then there was a prince. And a dragon came and swallowed the princess. And the prince killed the dragon. And the princess danced.

Da, dum, da da dum, da dum dum.
Da, da da da da dah.
Da, da, da da dah, da dum dum.
(to the tune of "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes")

The end.


Ariana's stories tend to have a theme. Can you figure it out?

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The Blame Game

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Samuel sat his little bottom on my lap and demanded that I read to him. I obediently read the first page of the Lightning McQueen book he brought over. Turning the page, I discovered something written that shouldn't be there.

I turned to my other son, who just happened to be sitting next to us.

"Connor. What is this?" I asked in a very stern voice.

Connor looked over at the page, then looked me directly in the eye.

"Samuel did it."

Oh really...

C O N N O R




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Better Than the Vacuum!

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My kids exasperate me sometimes. They wanted their friend to come over and play this morning. "Okay, clean up the front room and I'll invite Maya over." I worked on laundry and dishes.

Two hours later, the room was messier than it was this morning. "I thought you wanted your friend over." "WE DO!!!" They put away three toys, then played some more.

Finally I got frustrated.

"Okay. THAT'S IT!" and then I had an idea.

See the vacuum cleaner worked well for a while, but once Daddy learned of the trick, he decided to use it almost every day (whenever he got frustrated over the toys) so now it really only works on Connor. And since Connor is the only one who actively cleans the room when asked, the vacuum cleaner has now turned into a hindrance (since he can't clean and melt into a shriveling mess at the same time).

But today I remembered that we are moving. Oh, I didn't tell you that? Well, we are moving--hence all the posts about naming goats. I will write more about that after it happens, but suffice it to say, sometime around Sept. we will need to have all the stuff in our house packed up and slowly moved about 15 minutes away. I don't want to upload pictures until we've repainted it, etc., but I am VERY excited about it.

So anyway...my idea. I got the timer out.

"Kids. You have 15 minutes to clean up these toys. Anything that is left out will be packed away and you will not be able to play with it for TWO months." Connor melted into a shriveling mess. Honor and Ariana got busy.

I soon redirected Connor's energy and he became a cleaning tornado. Honor and Ariana...not so much. Honor did manage to pick up all the balls and costumes. And I THINK Ariana might have picked up some potato head accessories...maybe. Connor kept getting upset at Samuel for not cleaning although I told them that I knew exactly what Samuel was messing up (which wasn't much) and they would not be held accountable for that.

At the end of the 15 minutes, I picked up two bags worth of bulky toys (I need more boxes!). Because Connor worked so hard, I allowed him to choose 5 toys to "save". I was slightly disappointed in his choices. He saved 2 balls, a grouping of legos, a car, and his batman cape. We have a box FULL of balls, a box FULL of legos and a box FULL of cars. Oh well!

I have told the kids we will be doing this every morning until they learn to pick up after themselves. Makes my packing easier!

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With Logic Like That...

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During naptime today, Daddy and I heard screaming from upstairs.

"What was that??" I asked as I went upstairs.

By the time I got up there, the screaming had stopped. Silence. Then I heard some banging coming from Connor's room.

"What are you doing?" I yelled in a whisper.

He jumped away from the wall and fell on his stomach, as if he'd been lying like that for some time...

"Was that you screaming?"

Connor looked up at me with his big, brown eyes and answered, "yes."

"WHY were you screaming?"


Are you ready for his answer? You will be amazed at such logic...


"Because Ariana was quiet."


BECAUSE SHE WAS SLEEPING!!!!

The best laid plans of mice and men...are destroyed by little boys...

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Alarm Clock

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Why is it my alarm clock goes off promptly at 7:30 every morning...except for on Sunday mornings, where it lately has not been going off at all, causing us to rush around like mad people when Mommy finally wakes up naturally around 8:30 am.

And why is it that my alarm clock consists of two little girls screaming at the top of their lungs?


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Making Music

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Honor: Connor, you beat on the table with your sippy cup. I'll roll my sippy cup. Ariana you tap on your sippy cup. Samuel you poke your hand on your tray.

They all obeyed.

Then Ariana started singing: I aaammmm a princessssss. I liiiive in a castllllleee. I aaammmmm a princesssssss.

Got to love "music" in the morning.

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More Farm Animals

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So I asked Connor what animal he would like to have on a farm.

Connor: "A Chicken"

Mommy: "I think I want a chicken too. What shall we name the chicken?"

Connor: "Choppy"

Mmmm....sounds like he is going to skip the egg-laying fun and go right on to the main event!

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Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti

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Honor singing in the back seat:

Do, a dear, a female dear

Re, a drop of golden suuuuuun

Mi, a name I like to say


Mommy bursts out laughing in the front seat.

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Devious

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"Honor! Get in here and pick up your cars!" I ordered, gesturing to the pile of cars that she left in the kitchen.

She obediently came over and stood over the cars. "I need something to carry these in,"she mused.

Then she saw Samuel standing by Mommy and had an idea. "Sam-u-el," she sang. "Do you want to help me pick up the cars?" It is sickening how sweet she can sound.

Samuel rushed to her side, "CARS!"

"That's right. You can play with them. Play with the cars Samuel," and she skipped away, freed from her task by Samuel's enthusiasm for anything with wheels.

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On Sunday Morning

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Daddy ran into the gas station to get a pop while we waited for him in the truck. A man came out the door when he went in, and as usual, my kids couldn't stop from commenting. Thankfully no one could hear them...

Connor: Look Mommy! That man has a baby in his belly!

Mommy: No Son. Men don't get babies in their bellies. Only women do.

Honor begins pointing at random women (none of whom are overweight in the least): Look Mommy! She has a baby in her belly!

I remained quiet for a few minutes before finally responding: She MIGHT have a baby in her belly, but we don't know that. It is not polite to go around saying there are babies in people's bellies.

Honor: You might have a baby in your belly, right Mommy?

Mommy: No. I definitely do NOT have a baby in my belly!

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In an unusual turn of events, the children were dismissed for children's church after the offering was taken this morning. Honor watched the offering plate pass by her, and watched as the adults put their money/envelopes into the offering plate. Then she turned to grandpa and very seriously announced, "I don't have any money."

(this may not sound funny, but it was hilarious to us...it is another "tone of voice" moment.)

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Names

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I was talking to the children about the possibility of getting kids (i.e. baby goats) in the future and I told them that if we got some, Connor and Honor will get to name them. Here was their excited response:

Honor: I will name my goat Annie!

Mommy: That's a good name for a goat.

Connor: I will name my goat Legoland.

Mommy: Um...that's kind of a long name for a goat. Do you have any other ideas?

Connor: Okay. I will name him Lego.

Mommy: Okay...that's a good name for a goat.

Connor: And I will name the other goat Star Wars!

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Slightly Melodramatic

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Honor fell off the couch (because she was hopping up and down on her hands and knees, pretending to be a unicorn in her unicorn costume) and started bawling.

"Ohhhh. It hurts!!!" She moaned into the carpet. I rushed over to her.

"Are you okay baby?"

"It huuuuuurrrrtttts!!!" She wailed, throwing her head back in the air and holding up her arm.

"What hurts, baby?" I asked calmly.

"I scraped it!" She cried, pointing to her forearm. "It hurts!!!"

"It's okay baby...it's just a little rug burn. You are fine." Her arm wasn't even red. There was absolutely nothing there.

"Noooooooo! I spranked my ankle! My ankle is spraaaanked!" she sobbed, still pointing to her forearm.

I tried not to laugh.

"I spranked my ankle and it is now cracked. It's going to crack and DIE!"

And that did it...I laughed.

"Don't laugh at me! It huuuurrrtttss!"

"You're fine, Honor. Do you want me to kiss it?"

"Yes." She lifts her forearm up to my face and I dutifully kissed it.

"All better?"

"Yep! Aren't I a cute unicorn?"

sure.

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