I went to the grocery store today with all 5 of my children. I hate grocery shopping. It is even less fun when I get to bring ALL of my children. But we were out of cereal. And chips. So we went.
I pulled a muscle in my upper back/neck/shoulder area--basically my entire upper body was in pain--yet I carried my 30 pound toddler on my back anyway; it's easier than prying item after item out of his grubby little hands.
My eldest daughter brought one whole dollar to spend on...something. I was feeling extremely generous so when she asked if she could get nail polish, I said yes. She chose electric blue. I am the best mom ever.
My other daughter decided she wanted cough syrup. I had already given her cough syrup that morning. She hadn't coughed since I gave her the medicine. But since she wanted me to buy cough syrup, I had to endure asthma attack after asthma attack as we travelled the aisles. She does not have asthma, but she does have an over-developed flair for the dramatic.
And my older boys...were being boys. All over the store. Until I decided I needed two carts. Race car driver Samuel pushed one and my eldest son was banished to the space between me and the cart. He was not pleased. Neither was I.
The store was being remodeled, which means I had absolutely no idea where anything was. From the moment we left our house to the moment we returned, it was 3 hours. THREE HOURS. One store.
There were sales on a lot of snack food that Daddy likes. I bought a bunch because I intend to never go shopping again.
When we first entered the store, we passed a sale on baby pools. "Please, Mommy!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!" I looked at the price and thought of my ducks--the animals, not a cute nickname for my children. Since we were only 10 minutes into our trip and, as I mentioned, I was feeling generous, I said yes.
After 2 1/2 hours, I had forgotten. They had not.
"Don't forget the pool!"
I was not feeling nearly as generous as before, but I had already said yes. The thing was taller than me and did I mention my entire upper body hurt? But I somehow managed to carry the thing to the cash register. Thankfully the clerk offered to walk me, my 5 children, my two carts, and my pool out to my truck. Somehow I managed to shove all of that into the back of my SUV. The boys got to have a "pool hat" on the ride home. The girls were jealous.
After pleading with me the entire ride home, I agreed to allow them to play in the pool after Conan woke from his nap.
4:53 rolled around. I filled up the pool. They cheered and jumped in.
5:15, Connor and Samuel were, dry, dressed, and playing on their Kindles. Next came Ariana (who hadn't coughed once since leaving the store.). Honor played with Conan until 5:30. Daddy brought Conan in the house at 5:35.
I am never leaving my house again.
