Constantly.
He added humor to a tedious drive. Much of which I cannot share because it is lost in translation (I kept threatening to put a Go Pro on our dashboard to share him with the world and make millions, but he counter-threatened to never speak in the car again). However, two repeated "bits" have me laughing out loud days after he last spoke them. They will also lose a lot in translation, but since this blog is primarily for my own enjoyment, writing them down will keep me giggling for years to come.
Ariana: "Deer!"
My poor, sweet daughter could never catch a break in Yellowstone. No matter how often she pointed out the deer in the forests, Daddy never saw them. The children and I saw them, but the driver never did. So he pretended not to believe her.
Ariana: "Deer!"
Mommy: "I see it!"
Daddy: "Your just making stuff up. Look, I can do it too. ... Fairy!"
...
Ariana: "There's another deer! Over there!"
Daddy: "Yep! Right up in the tree there! It's pink and sparkly!"
...
Ariana: "Deer!"
Daddy: "You might as well be shouting, 'bear!' It's just as believable."
Ariana: "But we haven't seen any bears yet!"
Daddy: "I haven't seen any deers either."
Ariana: "They're out there! I saw three!"
Daddy: "So are the bears. Gummi Bears. I hear they are dashing and daring. Some even say they are courageous and caring. Look! They're bouncing here! And there! And everywhere! It's high adventure that's beyond compare!"
By that point Ariana was getting frustrated--probably because she didn't understand why I was laughing so hard.
Speaking of bears...
We only saw two bears...from a distance. And they were black bears. Super cute, but it would have been nice to see some of the grizzlies that they kept threatening would walk across the road at any moment.
My kids are obviously too loud.
But we were prepared for the encounter. We had bear spray. We had a gun. We had spare children to throw so the rest of us could get away... (just kidding--another one of Daddy's running jokes).
As we were driving to Yellowstone, I read the instructions from the National Park Service website (https://www.nps.gov/yell/learn/nature/bearreact.htm) and decided I never wanted to see a bear. Ever.
On the 2nd day into Yellowstone I read the newspaper the ranger handed us. There was an entire section on bear safety.
Reading aloud:
If you encounter a bear (most common)--slowly back away.
If the bear charges at you (rare)--stand your ground and use bear spray.
Daddy: "or throw a kid and run."
If a bear charges and makes contact with you (very rare)--fall onto your stomach and "play dead"
Daddy: "shoot the bear."
If a bear stalks you, then attacks (extremely rare)--fight back
Daddy: "Stalks you?? What does that even look like? Should we be watching for bears behind trees? Will they stand up and all we'll see is their belly hanging out? 'Look over there! I think that bear is stalking us. No. Wait. That's just a tree with a big lump sticking off the side.' Will they be creeping along on their tiptoes? Should we listen for high pitched piano tinkling?"
He then mimicked this video:
I still giggle every time I think about it.
