Selective Hearing

Mommy: "Honor."

...

Mommy: "Hooonnnnooor."

...


Mommy: "HONOR ELIZABETH!"

Honor (from the next room over): "Yes, Mom?  What do you want?"

Mommy: "I've been calling you, why didn't you answer?"

Honor: "I didn't hear you."

----------------------------------------

Princess Celestia (from under a pillow): "I'm Princess Celestia...."

Honor (from down in the basement): "Hey! That's MY Christmas present!"


Sigh.  Maybe I should talk in a high-pitched voice and tell everyone I have beautiful hair, then Honor might hear me...

Math Prodigy

Mommy: "You guys better hurry up and finish your lunch or you're not going to have time for recess. We need to start school soon."

Ariana: "I hate school."

Mommy: "Well, I didn't ask whether you liked it, I told you were need to do it because Mommy loves you and I want you to be smart."

Ariana: "I already know what 2 plus 2 is."

Mommy: "I would hope so!  We're way past that math. Even Samuel knows what 2 plus 2 is!"

Samuel: "ONE!"


Which is why we need to do school...

This Has GOT to Stop!

Ariana's prayer this evening:

Dear Heavenly Father,


I love my Mommy and Daddy. And please help me not to be scared when I marry Caleb.


In Jesus Name I pray,


Amen

That and the Stork

Samuel:

"Mommy, when I was a little baby, I was in your belly and then you were cooking breakfast and I just fell out."

Yep. That's about it.

And It Begins...

Today at church (in between services), Ariana came running up to me with her hand over her mouth, giggling profusely. "Mom...Caleb wants to marry me."

When I picked her up after church, she reaffirmed Caleb's desire to make her his betrothed. So, I did what any mother would do.

I told his parents.

"So, [Caleb's Mom], I hear we are going to be in-laws."

She laughed. "On the way into church this morning," she explained, "Caleb turned to me and said, 'Mom, I think I know who I am going to marry.' I just said, 'Oh, really?' and he said, 'Yes, and she goes to our church.' I had a pretty good guess as to who he meant considering the way Ariana follows him around."


I nodded. "Well, just so you know, we haven't given him our permission to take our daughter."

She laughed again. "Yeah, well neither have we!  Our other daughter has had the same unwavering crush since kindergarten though. We'll see what happens in ten years."

All I can say is, it's a good thing they are missionaries to Africa...

Numbers Game

"I'm not getting a dial tone on the house phone," I complain to my husband via my cell phone. "I've unplugged the modem thingy, unplugged the phone, plugged them back in and still nothing. What now?"

I can practically see his shoulders shrugging. "Call the cable company," he answers. 

Great. Thanks for the help.

I hang up and call the cable company. (We get our phone/internet service through the cable company. We don't get cable through the cable company, but we get telephone service. Hmmm...) I'm praying that the call won't take long since my cell phone minutes are VERY limited--i.e. the smallest amount you can get. Last month I went over--a rare occurrence to be certain, but I don't want a repeat.

The automated system picks up. "...please enter the home phone number associated with this account, starting with the area code."

555-523-1234

"We do not have that phone number in our records. If you have your account number available, please enter it now."

I look down at my cable bill and enter in the 16-digit account number.

"Thank you. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received."

Doooo, doooo, doooo, daaaaa, daaaa, daa...


"Cable company, this is Steve. May I get the billing address associated with this account?"

Um. Yeah. Address. Um. I've lived here for two years now. I should know that one. ...

I cheat and look at the top of my bill.

"Um, yes...it is xxxxxx Animal Rd, My City, AZ."


"Thank you. And can you verify the last 4 digits of the primary account holder's social security number."

Praying that I am the primary account holder, I give him the last four of my social. I could not for the life of me remember my husband's social, though I have had it memorized for nearly 10 years now.

"Thank you. And one more thing. Can you verify the phone number associated with this account?"

Oh great.

"Um, yeah. It is...555-515-1234."


"Hmmm. That is not the number we have in our system. Is there another number that it could be?"

I should know this. I have had the same home phone number since we moved to Arizona six years ago. I use it constantly. I write it on applications at least once a week. Never, in all my years as a student, did I feel as much pressure to come up with the right answer as I do now. I start sweating. Why can't I remember it???

Finally, I give up. Putting my hand over the mouthpiece, I yell downstairs to my seven year old daughter. "Honor, what is our home phone number?"

Assuming it is another "pop quiz", Honor yells up the stairs, "555-532-1234."

I repeat the number into the phone.


"Ah, yes. That is the number we have in our records. How may I help you today?"


And once again, Honor proves that she is smarter than me. 

But don't tell her I said that...

Turn on the Fan

Samuel to Ariana:

"Mommy makes hotness because she's HOT!"

...Daddy thinks so too, Hon...

Star Wars

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook:

As I was watching it, Connor snuck up behind me and watched over my shoulder.  Then he went out and told his siblings what I had watched...

"And my favorite bad guy was dancing with the furry guy after a laser was shot at them!  It was so cool!"


I really need to watch Star Wars with them again...I mean, how horrible is it that my SON cannot remember the name of Chewbacca??  Sorely lacking in his education...

Favorite TV Show

Connor: "Mom, is your favorite TV show the Weather Channel?"

Mommy: "Um...why do you ask that?"

Connor: "I know that it is Grandpa's favorite TV show. He watches it every morning."

Sooooooooo looking forward to Grandpa From Iowa's visit...with UNCLE TAD!!!  Only 3 more weeks!!!

Little Evangelist

Connor wrote this out for our waitress:

 

How I found out about it:

"Mom, did I make a great question mark?"

Because It Would Ruin the Surprise!

Good Morning

I allowed myself to sleep in a little this morning and let my kids be my alarm clock (a whole 7:15 am!!). Just like any good alarm clock, the sound started quietly and then grew in intensity the longer I let it sit. This is the sound my "alarm clock" made from downstairs:

Samuel: "...created..."

Connor: "No He didn't."

Samuel: "Yes He did. God did too create..."

Connor: "No, He didn't."

Samuel: "Yes HE DID! Mommy said God created everything!"

Connor: "Not cars."

Samuel: "Yes He did. I saw Him. When I was in Heaven, I saw Him create cars...."

Somehow I must have hit "snooze" at this point because the conversation abruptly died off here. I'm only hoping Samuel didn't win the discussion with that kind of logic...

 -------------------



The "snooze" on this alarm clock lasted about five minutes:

Samuel: "When I turn on the light, you say..."

...

Samuel: "When I turn on the light, you say that verse."

Connor: "mumble, mumble"

Samuel: "When you're done going poopie, I'll turn on the light and you say, 'God created.'"

And then the singing began and Mommy was officially ready to get up...to go write this blog post.

Brag Book

Our passage for devotions today was Jeremiah 9:23-24:

  This is what the LORD says:
   “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
   or the strong man boast of his strength
   or the rich man boast of his riches,
 but let him who boasts boast about this:
   that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
   justice and righteousness on earth,
   for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.

 Mommy: "So, are you supposed to brag about how smart we are?"

Children: "Nooooooooo!"

Mommy: "Are you supposed to brag about how strong we are?"

Children: "Nooooooooooooo!"

Mommy: "Well then, what are you supposed to brag about?"

Ariana: "You're supposed to brag about something that doesn't make any sense."

10 Things I Love About My Husband

Well, my friend Emily hosts a blog for newlyweds (that non-newlyweds are welcome to visit). On her blog she shared about the 90/10 rule in marriage: Focus on the 90% of things that we love about our spouse and try not to focus on the 10% that drives us crazy. (Good rule for any relationship really...)

She put a challenge out there to post 10 things we love about our husbands up each Tuesday in November and then link back to her post. I'm not sure about the linky thing and...it is Wednesday, but I am always willing to gush about my husband to all who will listen. So, without further ado, here is my list:

1. I love that he is handy. If there is something that needs fixed, he will figure out a way to fix it.
2. I love that he is a quick learner.
3. I love that he genuinely wants to do what is right.
4. I love that when we argue, even if he doesn't agree at the moment, he listens and stores it away...and sometimes changes his mind days later and argues my point with someone else. (Does it count that this is also part of the 10% that drives me crazy???  I think it does since it is what makes him who he is...)
5. I love that we don't have to communicate verbally to understand what each other are thinking.
6. I love the way he resists the urge to drink directly from the carton of milk because he knows it grosses me out.
7. I love that my husband considers me to be valuable; something to protect and cherish.
8. I love it that although he has not read my book, he is certain that it is worthy of publishing and he brags about it to everyone we know.
9. I love that when I ask him to do something, he does it...sometimes even without complaining!
10. I love that a simple hug from him lightens my burden and makes me feel whole.

 

So, now it's your turn. Head over to Newlywed's Bliss and make your list too!

Into the Silence

Samuel (because he wanted to speak and couldn't think of anything to say):

"Mom, I like Jesus because...I like Jesus because...because He dies and stuff..."

Uh...huh...

Look Mom! No Training Wheels!

And yes, the conversation towards the end of this video went like this:

Connor: "I just swallowed an ant!"

Honor: "Yuck, Connor!"

Mommy: "Connor, why did you swallow an ant???!!!"

Connor has bragged about his ant swallowing skills at least 10 times today...

I Didn't Do It

Samuel:

"I didn't break the flashlight!  I just swung it around and around and it flew into little pieces!"

Who Needs 'Em Anyway?

Well, the basement is a mess...again.  Anyone surprised?  Me neither.

As an incentive to get them to clean, I reminded them that they don't get any Mommy Dollars for the Mommy Store unless they have their sections/rooms/laundry clean.

No cleaning.

I threatened that the Mommy Store wouldn't be opened on Friday unless each child had at least 4 Mommy Dollars.

Nothin'.

I threatened that IF the Mommy Store isn't opened on Friday, Mommy would remove all toys from the floor and put them BACK into the Mommy Store.

Nada.

I yelled downstairs explained rationally that if the Mommy Store has not been bought back by Christmas, anything left in the Mommy Store will be donated to Goodwill.

MOVEMENT!

From downstairs I hear toys banging and children scrambling. And then I hear the following exchange:

Connor: "Hurry, Ariana! She's going to donate our toys!"

More banging.

Ariana (calm and collected): "Well, as children get older, they don't need as many toys..."


That girl will do anything to get out of cleaning!

No Taxation Without Representation!

Connor wrote something on the drawing board last night that made me and Daddy laugh heartily once it was explained. Unfortunately, Honor was offended and erased it before I had a chance to take a picture, but it looked something like this:

Taxes

• Mom
• Dad
• Ariana
• Honor
• Sam

Signing here:

Each of our names had been checked off.

I asked Connor what it meant and here was his reply:

"I don't have any money so everyone needs to pay me real money in taxes so I have some money."



I didn't realize I was raising a democrat...

When We All Get to Heaven

Ariana: "AGH!!! I HATE tangles! I HATE these tangles! Tangles are STUPID!"

Mommy: "Yep. Tangles hurt. That's why we need to brush our hair every day--so the tangles don't get that bad..."

Ariana (still scowling): "Yeah, but there won't be any tangles in Heaven! They're only here in THIS world!"

Yep. Just one of the multitude of things to look forward to. "No More Tears"!

The AWWWW Factor...

"Mom. Dad. Stay up here. Don't even look at the stairs! We have a surprise for you!" Honor commanded from the bottom of the stairs. Excited children chatter made its way up to the kitchen where I was getting dinner ready.

"Okay," came our dutiful reply. You mean, we get a few minutes of adult communication while the kids are still awake? I hardly knew what to do with myself.

Ten minutes later, Honor drug me into my bedroom. "Mom, you have to get dressed up."

"Okay, what should I wear?"

"Um...this," she announced from within my closet. She pulled out my most comfortable long dress that Daddy hates (because it goes all the way to the floor and he can't see my legs), but I love (because it makes me feel feminine and it is sooo comfortable!). "This is my favorite! You look so beautiful in this dress!" She exited the room, calling over her shoulder, "Daddy doesn't need to dress up, but you can."

We were then told that the surprise was ready, but we couldn't see it until after dinner. We ate (well, Daddy and I ate--the kids just jumped up and down in their seats), then the children pulled us down the stairs. We "oohed" and "awwed" at the streamer decorations they'd hung at eye level throughout the room. Then Honor pointed out the streamers on the stairs had writing on them.

"Caution," it read (this was because all the stores had caution tape on them around Halloween time and so they figured that's how you start a party announcement), "To give you a break. We love you."

In Honor's bedroom, they had set up "tables" with plates and cut apples (which I'd supplied when asked for a snack earlier). We squeezed into the room and ate our apples. Then the children left to get their "gifts" for Mommy and Daddy...several of their favorite toys wrapped up in blankets.

After everyone had finished their apples, Honor announced it was game time. We moved into Connor's room where each child had prepared a game. Well, Ariana had actually prepared a puppet show...

Connor's game was "Catch the Ninja Hat" where he dangled a pirate kerchief from the mast of his pirate ship from the top of his bunk bed and Daddy had to catch it. The prize was the kerchief.

Samuel's game was "Catch the Monster Truck" where he drove the toy monster truck around on the walls and I was supposed to catch it. The prize was the monster truck.

Honor had a riddle game. Solve her riddle and you get to pick from her treasure box. The prize was her most prized possessions...and she was surprised when I gave them back to her.

Then there was the "Run Hug" game where we all lined up on opposite sides of the room and were supposed to run to our partner and hug them. Daddy didn't quite understand the game and instead of hugging me, he ran and tackled me. I think I need to explain what a "hug" is a little better...

The final "game" was the costume contest. Honor had everyone line up and then she chose the best costume. As Connor was the only one actually wearing any sort of costume, I'd assumed he was a shoe-in. 

"Mommy, you stand here," Honor directed.

"But I'm not wearing a costume," I protested.

"You look just like Cinderella to me," she replied in all seriousness. And then I won the costume contest.

And that is why I love having daughters.

Lunchtime Surprise

This was our lunch for today:

We were sent home from the harvest party with a mostly full veggie tray--I couldn't let that go to waste!




Can you guess which part was Connor's favorite?


....


....



....





"MOM!!!  There are orange bell peppers!!!!" 



...

The last thing left on his plate was the pizza.  I think Samuel might have eaten that for him...

Just Little Ol' Me

So, as I said, we don't celebrate Halloween, but this year we went to a harvest party that our dance studio put on. They really played up attendance at all of the classes and I didn't have the heart to say no...but I did make it clear it was a Har.Vest. Par.Ty. NOT a Halloween party. I don't think we will go next year because there were a lot of kids dressed up as vampires, zombies, etc...which kind of takes away the point of it being a Harvest Party (not to mention they came home with bags FULL of candy--we're never going to get rid of it all!!!) ...but I digress...

The point of this blog was not about Halloween, but about costumes.

You see, Honor was super excited to go to the Harvest Party because all of her little friends kept saying what they were going to dress up as (it turns out that they meant for Halloween since none of her little friends came...but there I go digressing again...) For the last three weeks, Honor has been begging me to go to this Harvest Party and when I finally said, "yes" all she could talk about was her costume.

So, last night came around and I pulled out all the costumes that I had banished to the Mommy closet for lack of removal from dirty floors. I gave them a reprieve from the Mommy store and laid them on the ground for the kids to choose from. Ariana immediately decided on princess. Samuel went for firefighter. Connor went for Power Ranger--until he started practicing his ninja skills on his brother and I determined that Power Ranger would be...unwise--so he chose a knight instead (without a sword...).

Honor originally chose the doctor's coat, but it has been a while since we got that costume out and it was now more like a doctor's shawl on her so she had to change it up. Next she went for the fairy wings. She got quite excited about that because I promised glitter make up and jewels in the hair if she went as a fairy. We were all set with the fairy until she was informed that she would be required to wear tights. The child wears tights to dance class every week. She fights to wear tights every Sunday (even in the summer when I refuse because it is way too hot!). But when we told she would have to wear it with her fairy costume, she immediately decided that she didn't want to be a fairy. Ariana wanted the jewels and the sparkles, so she enthusiastically switched over--tights and all (actually I think the tights were the cherry on top for her).

Mommy: "Okay, how about a girl pirate?"

Honor: "I don't have any piratey shirts."

Mommy: "Sure you do...what about this one."

Honor: "It has a neck. I don't want to be a pirate."

Mommy: "Okay, how about a princess, like for your birthday."

Honor: "No."

Mommy: "A chicken? A lizard? A unicorn?"

Honor: "No. I don't really want to be anybody."

Mommy: "You don't want to wear a costume?"

Honor: "No, I just want to be me."

Mommy: "Are you sure?"

Honor: "Why can't I just be me?"


Well...when you put it that way...

Tin Soldiers and Happy Endings

Today for story time I read, "The Tin Soldier" by Hans Christian Anderson. The children listened attentively as I described the steadfast tin soldier with only one leg who bravely fought through the perils of the evil snuff goblin, falling three stories out of a window, floating down the raging rapids of the gutter into the dark drain, being chased by a rat, washing out into a canal only to be swallowed by a fish--all while standing erect, shouldering his rifle. The tin soldier had but one love: the little paper dancer, who gracefully balanced on one leg outside her paper castle, her only adornment was a large, blue sequin that was nearly the size of her head. However, the evil snuff goblin would not allow him to be with her and on the night of tin soldier's victorious return from the fish's belly, the goblin caused a little boy to throw the soldier into the fire. He immediately began to melt, all the while watching his beloved little dancer. But as he was melting someone opened the draft to the stove and in flew the little ballerina who immediately burned to a crisp. In the morning all that was left to be found by the cook was a little tin heart with a black sequin coal embedded in the center.

Honor: "Well, go on."

Mommy: "That's it. The story's over."

Honor: "No it's not. That wasn't a  happy ending. Finish the story."

Mommy: "No, Honey, the story's over. That was the ending."

Honor: "Moooommm. That. Was. NOT. A. Happy. Ending."

And thus Honor learned a hard truth: not all stories have a happy ending.

But all of my favorites do.

To Celebrate or Not to Celebrate...That is the Question

We don't celebrate Halloween as a family for a number of reasons. Before I list off those reasons, I want to clarify that we do not think other Christians are less godly if they do observe the holiday--I used to celebrate it as well. This is a personal conviction that we decided upon as a family.  You feel free to choose for your own family.

And now for the reasons...

1. We don't live in a neighborhood where homes are close together so it is inconvenient (this also saves us from having to purchase overpriced goodies since no one comes to our door.)
2. We only allow the kids a few candy treats at a time so a whole bag would last six months...multiply that by four. I just don't want to store candy for two years. And Daddy and I really don't need to help them out...
3. I don't want to pay for overpriced costumes for one night of fun. I'd rather wait a week or two and buy costumes for 75% off to be worn all year long.
4. If we absolutely feel the need to get dressed up, there are several harvest festivals we can go to in order to celebrate God's many blessings.
5. I don't want to encourage my children to make light of demons, witches, vampires, ghosts, the devil and other wickedness. Yes, I know they don't have to dress up as these things, but it is everywhere you look as part of the holiday. I find it difficult to tell them these things are bad 11 months out of the year, but perfectly okay for October. 
6. My kids don't care. Really.

But Connor summed it up best when were visiting Rieman Gardens last month at Iowa State University.  He surprised me actually because his chosen reason was not one that I had given him for why we do not celebrate Halloween. It was nice to see him making the connections on his own...

The gift shop was all geared up for the holiday, complete with a creepy-looking skeleton with blue flashing eyes. Connor is fascinated by all things skeleton...add blue flashing eyes and try to get him not to stare at it open-mouthed.

The welcome attendant noticed his curiosity and asked, "Oh, are you excited about Halloween?"

Connor answered, without missing a beat:

"We don't celebrate Halloween because it doesn't glorify God. I'm a Christian."

Great Explorers

Speaking of too much fiction...

The children were quick to notice that Christopher Columbus' voyage was a lot like the Voyage of the Dawn Treader...both were sailing somewhere that no one had been before. Both thought there would be sea monsters (well, there were Sea Monsters in Dawn Treader). And both landed on islands with strange natives.

So, if you ever want to read a more interesting account of Christopher Columbus' journey, check out Voyage of the Dawn Treader...

Ye Ol' Columbus Day

In honor of Christopher Columbus Day, I sat the children down on the couch and read a children's mini-biography of him to them (Cornerstones of Freedom, Christopher Columbus by R. Conrad Stein in case you were curious). We had already learned the poem, "In fourteen hundred ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." We had already talked about how he was a great explorer who discovered America for the Europeans. We already talked about how he had lived over 500 years ago.

On page 6 of the 31 page book, it says:

When he was twenty-five, he worked on a Flemish merchant ship that was attacked and sunk by pirates. Wounded and hanging desperately onto an oar, Columbus swam six miles through treacherous waters to the shore.

This was immediately followed by, "Arr!" and "Avast, ye mateys!" from Connor and Samuel, complete with scrunched eye and curled lip. Honor and Ariana both asked where the pirate ship was in the picture (it was a picture of Lisbon harbor during Columbus' time...the shore he landed on) For the next three pages, I had to explain that this is NOT a story about pirates.

Perhaps we read too much fiction...

Pertinacious Pupil

Mommy: "What is 54 plus 2?"

Ariana writes down 55.

Mommy: "54 +2 is 55?  I always thought it was 56."

Ariana (in all seriousness): "Well, you were wrong."

Motivated

Don't you love it when God lets you know you have a problem you need to work on that you didn't know you had?  I know I have many problems--I have to battle my "known" sins daily--but God spoke to me this morning about an issue...and then called to mind examples just to make sure I got the point.

I was reading out of 2 Samuel--I started in chapter 8 and worked my way up to 12 before I forced myself to put it down (whoever said the Bible wasn't exciting hasn't studied David's life...but that's not the point...)--when I came across chapter 10: 1-4. Basically King David's friend died so he sent some servants to comfort his friend's son. But when David's servants got to the city, the prince's friends persuaded him that David's servants were sent as spies. So he foolishly humiliated them and basically started a war.

As I was reading this, I was thinking, "how stupid of Hanun! Even if he did really think the servants were spies, he could have just said, 'thanks, but no thanks,' and sent them home. Why go the extra mile to humiliate them?"

And God spoke to me.

"Daddy, you only did that so I wouldn't yell at you for not taking the garbage out."
"[Child A], you only did that so that you wouldn't get in trouble."
"[Child B], you're not really sorry, you're only saying that so that I'll get out of your hair."

Now, granted, I don't always say these things aloud, but I most definitely think them way more often than I should. WAY more often.

Why do I do that? Why do I assign a motive to something that is otherwise a good thing? I obviously don't think my children or my husband are spies, nor do I think they would intentionally hurt me so of all people I should be giving them the benefit of the doubt. But so often I don't. And I didn't even realize I was doing it until God spoke to me.

Do you find yourself assigning motives--good or bad--to things your family does? Well, if you are like me, I encourage you to join me and STOP IT. After all, you wouldn't like them to do that to you. Nor me.

"Mommy only feeds us because otherwise CPS would take us away..."

Granted that's one of the multitude of reasons I perform my menial tasks daily, but it is no where near the top of the list. And I would be horrified to think that someone was assigning that motive to my work. But that's the problem when we try to think for others...we usually get it wrong.

I am thankful that God pointed out this problem that I truly need to work on. People are so multifaceted and complex that it is impossible to truly know ever tiny motive that goes into the hundreds of things we do each day. From now on, I will make a concentrated effort to take the things my children and my husband do at face value and not assign a motive consciously or unconsciously (see, if I'm thinking about it, then I will be aware of it when I am doing it unconsciously...smart, huh).

It will make life much simpler that way!

Vacation Review

We just returned home from a 12 day vacation--4 days of which were spent driving. In a truck. With 4 small children. And one grumpy adult (I will leave it up to your imagination as to which adult was grumpy 80% of the trip...) For those of you who may be wondering why my children are not as...pleasant...as usual, here is all that we packed in to those 12 days (well, really 8...) with a quick ONE WORD review for each.

Family Reunion at the Rusty Moose Lodge

Paradise

Hannah's Maze of Mirrors

Confusing

Talking Rocks Cavern

Underground

Gray's Lake

Cold

Fishing/Boating/Park Playing at Raccoon Valley Park

Fantastic

Shooting/Nascar Driving/Aquarium Watching/Bowling at the Bass Pro Shop

Fun

Reiman Gardens and Butterfly House

Beautiful

Hickory Park

Yummy

Great Grandma's House

Relaxing

Rennaissance Faire

Entertaining

Church

Nostalgic

Jordan Creek Mall

Crowded

So there is a brief week in review...minus most eating establishments which could be a whole other post in itself.

Practical Math

At the Toll Plaza...

Toll lady (counting back our change): "1 is 5, 5 is 10, and 10 is 20. Thank you. Have a nice day!"

Connor (from the back of the Yukon): "Wow! She has great math skills like me!"

Future Author

Connor definitely has a bit of a creative bone...


Connor: "Mom, what is that smell?"

Mommy: "What smell?"

Connor: "It smells funny."

Mommy: "Like what?"

Connor: "It smells like a cockroach dying."


----------------------------------------------------------------


Later, at breakfast...

Uncle Tad: "Here, Buddy, do you want a piece of my toast with butter on it?"

Connor: "Ooh! Yes! It looks like a sun shining!"


Figurative language is my son's forte.

Pyrates...

Connor received this lovely pirate ship for his birthday and it immediately became a child favorite in our home. I spent an hour and a half last week helping him put it together (it's a lego toy)...it took them less than 10 minutes to take it apart. Sigh.

At least I got some funny quotes out of the thing!

From the boys:

The pirate ship come with four lego guys that Connor wasn't truly wanting to share. Knowing that he is not allowed to say "mine" and make a grab for it, he ingeniously came up with a new character for Samuel.

"Here's your guy!" Connor says enthusiastically.

Samuel stares at the new character blankly. "It's a sock."

Connor smiles as if it is the best toy in the world. "Socks can be guys."

And my easygoing Samuel agrees, "Yeah! My sock can be a guy."  He picks up a shoe and makes it a boat for his sock captain.

-----------------------------------------------------

From the girls:

I really don't know what I am doing that allows these girls to think of these things. I try to empower them. We watch shows and read books where the girls are the heroes. They are told they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up...

Yet, this is how they play...


In a monotone voice, Ariana narrates her characters' actions, "She fell in love with the guy that stole her."

Honor wasn't much better.

"Don't worry princess! Someday some guy will find you and marry you!"



I have my work cut out for me!

Captive Audience

I love that Ariana is reading so well. I love that she enjoys reading to the dog. I just find it a little disconcerting WHERE she chooses to read...

The Matrix

Approx. 2 weeks ago...

Connor: "How does a GPS work?"

Mommy: "Well, it uses longitude and latitude to figure out where we're at..."

Connor: "What is longitude and latitude?"

Mommy: "Um...they are invisible lines that run horizontally and vertically all over the earth that people use to pinpoint locations on a map."

Connor: "Woah! There are invisible lines all over the place! Where!?!"

I explained that the lines weren't real, that it was something people used for maps. They. Aren't. Real.


Today at lunch...

Connor: "Mom, can you tell me more about those invisible lines that are everywhere?"

Sigh.

Homeschool Conversations

Learning that I homeschool typically starts a conversation with other women and today was no exception. One of the women at the doctor's office asked me many questions. It surprised her that one of the reasons I want to homeschool is so that I can prepare my children to think for themselves rather than regurgitating facts. She thought that the main reason people homeschool is to remove their children from peer pressure. While that is the case for many people, and that is one of the benefits of homeschooling, it is definitely not my primary reason. She had honestly never thought about it as a way to encourage them to learn life skills. I like when I can make people think!

My conversations at the doctor's office reminded me of this video a friend of mine posted on her facebook page a while back. This really is a typical conversation I have when I go out and try to talk to other moms. (Although, no one besides my mom has ever compared me to Michelle Duggar!)

They Are Always Listening...

As we sat in the doctor's office waiting for Honor and Connor's seven-year well-check, I was asked the typical questions from the other moms in the room with two children each: "How old are they?" and "Are they all yours?" When I answered, I was told, "But the older ones are in school right, so it is easier now." When told that I homeschool, I received the typical exasperated stare, followed by the mouth dropped response of: "Wow! You must have a lot of patience! I could never do that!"

I responded that I didn't start out with a lot of patience, but God has increased it more with each child and with each year. I then said something to the affect of, "some days are harder than others since they are with me all of the time." All of the ladies in the room nodded their heads in agreement. Then one said, "But you enjoy it, right? Otherwise you wouldn't do it."

I nodded my head and said, "Yes, I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way."

That's when Samuel, who had been playing with the beads, climbed into my lap and announced to the room in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, "My mommy likes me a lot!"

Yes, Sunshine, I do. More than you know.

Why Is That?

After one too many teenage tantrums, I took my 7 year old daughter into the bathroom to have a talk about showing respect to her Mommy. I explained to her that she won't always get her way and that's a good thing because sometimes what we want is not what we need and sometimes what we think we want is not as good as what will be coming. We talked about patience, being thankful for what we have, and thinking of others before our self. It was a long conversation and by the end, Honor had calmed down and I could see her heart change.

Finally, just before we were about to leave the room, Honor looked up at me and asked,

"Mommy, how come parents know everything?"

I answered, "Because our parents taught us everything they know."

Now, I can only pray she continues to think that way when she's 16!

My Book

So...

I wrote a book. It was the first real piece of fiction that I've ever written for fun. The goal was to finish it and give it to my dad as a present because he has always told me that I should write. It took me over two years, but I met my goal. I self-published the book and sent it to my Dad. It looks like any other paperback you might pick up in the store. 392 pages. I had it sent to him for his birthday. When he received the package from UPS, he called me to thank me.

"Hey, Dad, just remember, it's my first book EVER. It's not that good. I mean... I like it okay, but it's not really publishable. But I hope you like it!"

"Soo...what you're saying is, you sent me a book that is not very good for my birthday present?"

"Well...I sent you a novel that I wrote for your birthday present. I hope you like it!"


Yesterday I received a call from him. He was already halfway through the book he'd gotten the evening before. He used big words like "enthralled" to describe how he felt about my book. And he thinks I should attempt to get it published for real. "I've read WAY worse books that were published by actual publishers. You definitely need to sell this!" My dad has read hundreds of fantasy novels in his lifetime so he has a basis for comparison.

My husband agrees. He hasn't read the book, but he figures if I wrote 392 pages, it must be worth getting published. (To be fair, he hasn't read the book because I wouldn't let him read it until it was finished and I haven't received my own personal copy in the mail yet...).

Let me explain something about both my dad and my husband: they do not give false praise. If my dad doesn't really like something, but still wants to give me encouragement, he will say "it's nice, but..." and give me pointers on how to fix it. My husband will skip the "it's nice" part altogether. Neither are mean about it, but they are very honest in their opinions. So for both of them to be excited about this is very flattering.

And a little scary.

I told them both that I have absolutely no idea how to even begin to submit a book to a publishing company. I don't know how to write a query letter. I don't even know WHO to send it to. (TOR is definitely my first choice, but I highly doubt they would accept a novel from an unknown author...)

Truth be told, I don't think it is publishable. I enjoyed my story, but every time I look at it, I find another word to replace, another something that's off. I ended up having to just say enough is enough and leave it where it was. It is hard for me to let my dad read it. And I am scared to send it out there. But the funny thing is...I'm not scared of rejection. In fact, I expect rejection. What I am scared of is, what if they actually accept it? Then it will be out there for the whole world to mock and tell me what a bad writer I am (I mean look at Stephanie Meyers... ). They say you shouldn't look at reviews, but honestly, I am addicted to reviews. And I take them all to heart.

So...I'm seriously thinking about it. Maybe.

I mean, you can't let fear rule you, right?

I think I'll let my husband read it first...

Patience

Samuel wanted Connor's wallet. Connor wasn't willing to give up said wallet. Samuel does need a place to store "Mommy dollars"...

Mommy: "Samuel, you cannot have Connor's wallet because he needs it, but if you are patient, I will see about getting you a wallet later this week."

Samuel: "But I want to be patient NOW!"

I think I need to work on teaching him the meaning of that word...

Honor's Fifth Tooth..

Honor lost her fifth tooth over at Grandma's house this evening. She left the following note in her "communication box" for the Tooth Fairy...




The Tooth Fairy left her some money anyway and thanked her for the nice note...

Maggie IS Part German Shepherd...

Okay...so I had a few comments on "Smooth Move" that Maggie does not look very German Shepherdish, but I assure you that it is just the photo. So, as proof, I am going to show comparison photos... She most definitely more black German Shepherd than anything else. These pictures still do not do her justice. It is difficult for me to get her to stand still AWAY from me while not on a leash. She prefers to stand right next to me or right next to Jasmine so when I walk away from her, she drops her ears and looks all pitiful. In the sun you can see the rusty brown under coat that is typical of black German Shepherds (you can kind of see it on her rear end in the top picture of her, but it is more prominent than that in real life--I'm not that great of a photographer and I just can't get her to hold still long enough for a good picture!).

Breed Standard Black Labrador Retriever

Breed Standard Border Collie

Breed Standard Black German Shepherd

Black German Shepherd Police Dog
(This one looks the most like Maggie in real life...minus the "boy" parts)

Random Photo I found titled: "Black German Shepherd-Collie Cross"

Maggie

Maggie

...Are we agreed????

Big Deal

"The walk" was not the only interesting thing that happened to me today.

Actually, the kids and I had a wonderful day together. We started off the day with devotions and had great discussions about staying focused on Christ. After that I had intended to take them to Office Max for their back-to-school sale, but I couldn't find the store. Since there were no school supplies we absolutely had to have, we skipped that and went to Subway for lunch. I got complimented on how well-behaved my children are (and was told my hands are full about four times in 30 minutes...)--the children are always well-behaved when they have food in front of them.

After that we went to Bashas.

I may have mentioned my fondness of Bashas before. It is a grocery store--with a free built-in daycare! I LOVE this. I get to shop for a whole hour while the kids make crafts. It's a win-win situation.

Well, today they were having the best sales (or I should say, the most applicable sales to my family), so the kids got to go to their favorite grocery store (it is about 20 minutes away...). I dropped the kids off and headed down the aisles with my grocery list in hand. They were having a wonderful sale on Powerade, which is something we don't usually drink, however, my husband and brother-in-law have been working out in the heat building things around the property such as a goat house and a commercial greenhouse and I thought the extra electrolytes would be good for them. I bought 30, 32-oz bottles (the maximum the sale allowed).

Over the intercom I heard, "Howdy folks! I'm Jenna over in the meat department and I wanted to let you all know about an excellent deal. We are selling Jenny-O smoked turkey sausage for $1.99/package--normally $6.99/package. That's a $5 savings! Head on back and experience this in-store only deal while supplies last!" I did not rush back there since turkey sausage is not a staple food in our home, but I figured I would check it out when I got to the meat portion of my list.

As I walked down the back aisle, Jenna headed out the meat door. "Hey! You look like a young woman who knows a good deal when you see one! Have you seen these turkey sausages? It's a great deal!" I kept my eye rolling to a minimum and dutifully walked over to see the turkey sausages. They looked like big hot dog to me--maybe a bratwurst. I almost walked away, but then I remembered the kids are having a birthday party in a couple of weeks where I am serving hamburgers and hot dogs. These would work. So, I smiled at Jenna and picked out four packages--64 total.

I meandered over to the chicken (which was on my list) and Jenna hopped back on the microphone. "Ho, folks! Hurry back and pick up your turkey sausage--they're going fast! I caught a young lady walking by who had a cart full of Powerade and I knew she knew a good deal when she saw one! She picked up four packages! Come on back while supplies last!"

I think the most embarrassing part of the experience was the fact that the entire local fire department happened to be shopping next to me at that exact moment and knew right away who the "young lady" was... gave a new meaning to the term "fire-engine red".

Smooth Move

So...

I won the "Stupid Mom" award for today...

It's Tuesday. Irrigation sign up day. Normally this is a job for my dear, sweet husband, but he is out of town helping a friend build a dance studio and won't be home until late. We live in Arizona so if we want any kind of green, we need to irrigate every other week in the summer. It is the "other" week and so I decided that I would take the kids for a walk. With the dogs. In 104* "dry" heat.

"Remember that one time we took Jasmine for a walk with the wagon?" Honor reminded me in hopes that this time would also be a wagon time.

Okay.

So, I hooked the dogs' leashes to the wagon, put three of the kids in the wagon, attached a second leash to Jasmine, handed that leash to Ariana, grabbed the leashes connected to the wagon and began the 1/2 mile trek to the sign up box. Everyone was excited. We live on a little over 5 acres so there really isn't too much need to take walks for exercise. The rare adventure around our neighborhood is a real treat.

The walk to the box was great. Jasmine and Maggie tuckered themselves out pretty quickly and so it was a fairly smooth ride for the kids. However, when we got to the box, we came across the first problem: other dogs. Granted they were behind a fence, but it was very difficult for me to get Jasmine and Maggie to sit down long enough for me to sign up. But we did. All was well.

Ariana and Honor switched places and we began our trek home. "Mom! I want to go for a longer walk!" Samuel cried from within the comfortable confines of the wagon. He wasn't pulling 120 pounds in 104*heat.

"We are going for a longer walk. We have to walk home now."

"Okay." He was mollified.

We turned around and CRASH!!! The wagon spilled over. The three inside were quick to assure me, "We're okay!"

Honor noticed the problem right away. "Look at the wheel, Mom!"

Connor had felt the need to see how the wheel had been attached. "Had been" was the operative phrase. "Connor, what part of this did you take off?" I asked as I tried to rescrew the red cap back on top, which just kept spinning and spinning.

"I don't know." Standard response.

"Okay, kids. Out you go. Connor, you walk the wagon, Honor, you walk Jasmine, and Ariana and Samuel, you walk next to me." And I held the leash of the two tired dogs who now carried a much smaller load.

We walked about a block before Samuel started lagging behind. "Samuel, keep up!"

"I'm tiiiirrrreeedd," was his very whiny response. So much for the "longer walk."

"Come on, Son. Hop on my back." Whines all around from the other three who still had to walk. I was pulling two dogs attached to a wagon and carrying 42 pounds in 104* heat and they were whining about being hot and tired. It's all relative I guess.

Because I had to have one hand on Samuel's bottom, I had let go of Maggie's leash. She had been very tired and actually walking behind me so I wasn't worried about her taking off. We went another block when tragedy struck. Neighborhood dog...without a fence.

The large reddish brown-dog came out of nowhere to protect its property from this large herd of invaders. It ran right up to Jasmine and started barking. That set our two off. I wasn't quick enough and Maggie took off. With the wagon. Pulling it over Connor and Ariana (thankfully it was just a big, plastic one and not a metal red rider!). That gave Jasmine extra strength and she took off, snapping the smaller leash that I was carrying. Honor was the last line of defense. I'm actually quite proud of her. She was dragged a good ten feet before she finally admitted defeat. I quickly bent to drop Samuel off my back, but he didn't understand what I intended and fell about a foot rather than jumping off. So, I had to leave four SCREAMING children while I chased down two not-so-tired dogs and a wagon with a broken wheel. Of course, Jasmine thought this was just a great game. She didn't realize I was actually trying to catch her. In her mind, I still held the leash and was now going for a jog. She just sped up. I love that dog.

(Maggie--80 lbs German Shepherd/Border Collie mix... Jasmine--40 lbs English Springer Spaniel)

"Jasmine, SIT!" I finally yelled. To my great surprise, she halted immediately and sat. Since Jasmine is our "alpha" dog, Maggie immediately stopped as well. I grabbed their leashes and the wagon and headed back to my children who were lying on the side of the road as if the world had just ended.

"It's okay, kids. You'll be fine," I reassured them, all the while uncertain if they really were okay or not. They were. Fine, I mean. Only Honor had any scrapes at all and surprisingly enough they were very minor.

I put the kids back into the wagon with the broken wheel because it was safer than letting them continue to walk. The dogs were now thoroughly exhausted, having used their last bit of energy chasing the dog who had disappeared completely by this time. We walked home, bedraggled and nearly passing out from heat exhaustion. Maggie didn't even wait to go inside before lying down. As soon as I disconnected her leash (a little before we reached our property--they only wanted to go home anyway) She found the nearest shade tree and made herself comfortable. As a family, I am certain we drank two gallons of water in a matter of minutes.

But we will have irrigation next week.

Great Start to a New Day

Bang! Crash! Bang!

Little boy voices talking quietly to each other.

The GeoTrax train starting up.

Bang!!

I'm awake.

"Boys!" I yell in a whisper down the stairs. "Boys! What are you doing?"

"We're cleaning!"

I pinch myself a few times for good measure. Nope. Not a dream.

I slowly back away from the stairs so as not to disturb their industriousness.

One of THOSE Days...

cough...cough...cough...

This was my 6:30 am alarm clock this morning. "Connor, is that you?" I asked (he has a very distinctive cough.)

No answer.

I got out of bed and followed the sound of the coughing to the couch. "Honey, what are you doing up here?"

"I was coughing," Connor responded as if this obvious remark explained everything.

"Did you wake up your sisters?" Both girls had head colds the day before and Ariana was pretty sick with a fever, stuffy head, and mild coughing. I gave the boys strict instructions last night that they were to do everything in their power to let the girls sleep in. Both boys were perfectly healthy yesterday...

Connor shook his head. "Nope. Everyone else is still sleeping."

"Good. Do you need a breathing treatment?" His cough was pretty dry, but he was coughing quite a bit and I wanted to make sure he wasn't have an asthma attack.

"Nope. I'm fine." He went and got some water and the coughing stopped a little while later.

Connor had run out of prescription Zyrtec on Friday and I had planned on waiting to get it filled until Wednesday when the rest of Connor's prescriptions would come due since technically he is only supposed to have to use it every day from Feb. thru June (high pollen count for Bermuda grass) and then the rest of the time it is as needed. I decided I better fill it today just to be on the safe side. I called the pharmacist and ordered the refill.

I went out to do chores and saw this:



My cat's claw vine--which brings a touch of the English countryside to my home and which had just begun to bloom beautifully--had been blown off the house by last night's dust storm! Cat's claw is supposed to adhere so well to stucco that it removes chunks of it when cut down. Not mine apparently! I love on this vine and prune it at least once a week to keep it from climbing up and taking over the tile on our roof so I was fairly upset to say the least to find it on the ground. Thankfully the man who helps us take care of our property came over later this morning and helped me push it back up. Hopefully no other huge windstorm comes through before it can firmly reattach itself!

When I returned inside from my chores, the other children had gotten up. Ariana had a fever of 101.3 so I gave her some Motrin and told her to lie down on the couch. Thankfully Connor had stopped coughing by this point and everyone else seemed fine so I figured we'd have a relaxing morning and then I'd have Ariana take a nap with Samuel this afternoon while I did school with Honor and Connor.

Right after breakfast I received a phone call from an unknown name/ unknown number. It was "Walmart" calling to let me know that I was "randomly chosen to receive a customer appreciation gift of a $200 gift card to Walmart and a $200 gas gift card" and all he needed from me was $1.95 shipping and handling to be paid when UPS delivers the gift cards.

Immediately I was suspicious--"why can't I just pick it up at the store?"

"Because, this is a corporate promotion and your local store doesn't know about it." He then set out to "prove" he was from the store by giving me a number to his call center, his name, his ID, and then to tell me what Walmart store I'd been selected from and when I had shopped there--and that it was more than 10 miles from my home.

I refused to give him any information over the phone and told him to "give the gift card to someone else, I'm not interested." Then I hung up.

He called back.

I informed him that I knew it was a scam, that I looked on Walmart's store page where they said that people were trying this scam and that they would never ask for any personal information over the phone unsolicited and he hung up on me. I reported it to Walmart and verified with my bank that none of my account information had been stolen.

In hindsight though, I am really upset that I wasted the opportunity to share Christ with him. What a wonderful opportunity that was wasted because I was busy thinking of money! I will have to pray that next time (if there is one--and frankly I hope there is not!) I will think more clearly.

While I was on the phone Honor, Connor and Samuel played spies downstairs and Ariana rested miserably on the couch. I would massage her head and refuse the scammer simultaneously, all the while wondering if I should take her to the doctor later today since she's had a fever pretty much non-stop since Saturday.

After the phone call, we did devotions and then I made lunch, which everyone ate enthusiastically. After lunch, Ariana walked herself downstairs and put herself to bed without prompting. Poor baby! I went into the office to check my e-mail and Connor came in to show me his newest "spy costume"--he likes to dress all in black, put a hooded shirt on and put on a lizard mask and call it his spy costume.

"Look, Mom!" he croaked. "My voice is changing!" Uh oh. For him, loosing his voice is the first sign of a croup infection. And it has been my experience that a croup infection for Connor means an asthma attack. At that point he was still feeling fine, but I thought I'd be proactive. Around 1:00 I gave him a breathing treatment. Connor really enjoyed his "Darth Vader" voice and no matter how much I told him not to talk, he found a way to do it.

By 2, the croup cough appeared. If you've never heard it, it sounds like a seal's bark. It is a horrible sound! Usually croup is limited to children under 4, but kids with weak lungs are susceptible--that means Connor. I put him in a steamy shower/bath for 20 minutes, hoping to stave off the worst of it. It worked while he was in there, but as soon as he left the bathroom, the cough came back full force.

I set him up in bed and told him we would go to the ER as soon as Daddy got home. I gave him another breathing treatment (you're supposed to only need them every 4 hours). By 3:30 he was telling me he was having a hard time breathing. For Connor to say that, means that he is really having a hard time breathing! I called up my neighbor/best sister-in-law-in-the-world, Steph, and asked her to bring her two sick kids into my sick house so I could take Connor to the ER and Ariana could keep sleeping. By the time she was able to get there and I was able to get Connor ready, Daddy was home, but I appreciate that she was willing to do it anyway.

As I was rushing downstairs to get Connor up from his very short mini-nap, I felt a drop on my head at the top of the stairs. I looked up and the ceiling was leaking! There is nothing but attic above the hallway... I called Daddy to let him know, shut off the water to the house, put a towel on the floor, and finished making my way downstairs to get Connor ready.

I took Connor into the ER around 4 and it was a good thing I did. His O2 levels were at 91%- (96% is the minimum that is considered okay). They put him on some oxygen and an hour long breathing treatment and gave him some oral steroids (which I knew he needed when I couldn't control it at home). At one point he coughed so hard that he threw up all the medicine and they had to give him some more. They gave him a nice hospital gown that he got to wear home--believe me, he was overjoyed. He wanted to wear it for pajamas.

We stayed in the ER until 7:30 so they could monitor him, then they sent him home with his normal meds, a prescription for oral steroids, and a "prescription" for over the counter cough syrup. We were told to follow up with his normal pediatrician tomorrow. The steroid they gave him was like a dose of adrenaline. Once it kicked in, I couldn't get him to settle down! I took him to Walgreens drive thru, dropped off the prescriptions, then took him to McDonald's drive thru and got him a happy meal (HUGE treat in our home...although we occasionally eat at fast food places, we RARELY get the kids' meals because they are over priced for four kids and the toys get broken within a day anyway...). I then pulled into the busy parking lot, parked under one of the lights, opened up the hatch on the prius, laid down some towels and proceeded to have a picnic in the back of the car (because I didn't want to take him into the restaurant and risk him getting sick germs on any other kids). Connor thoroughly enjoyed this, but kept asking me why I constantly was watching the parking lot. He also told me that I needed to pull my leg up into the car because another car might come by and smash it. Isn't he sweet?

When we finally got home around 8:45, I walked through the garage door and noticed a giant hole above my head. Daddy had to remove part of the ceiling because it had gotten wet. The drain on the air conditioner and broken causing the condensation to build up and overflow the overflow tray (or something like that...all I know is, he'll have it fixed tomorrow, but who knows how long the hole will be there?).

I gave Connor and Ariana their medicine and put all the kids to bed. Then I came upstairs to start this blog.

But my day wasn't quite done.

Around 10:30, Daddy came in and told me one of the children was crying downstairs. We went downstairs to find a panicked Honor. She tends to get a bit melodramatic when she's tired. First she needed her blankie--it had fallen in behind her pillows and she couldn't find it. Because she was crying so hard, her nose was running. That bothered her so much that she made the following statement (in a very pitiful, bawling-type cry): "I'm so disgusting!" To which I assured her that, no, she is not disgusting and your nose runs when you cry. Then she decided she needed to go to the bathroom. Long story short, I had to make a run to Walmart at 11:00 at night for some medicine. (You can bet I was wondering if the scammer was following my every move!) At 11:30 Honor was finally able to use the restroom and she happily went to bed around 11:45 feeling fine.

I am exhausted!

--------------------------------

Amendment written "tomorrow":

My "day" lasted well into the night, culminating in several waking dreams of Connor hacking next to my bed, things falling from the ceiling, and just overall crying. Daddy was a little less than thrilled when I yanked back all the covers to see whatever it was that just fell on the bed. And of course, in the middle of a waking dream I will refuse to believe him that nothing happened, because I saw it. Only in the light of day did that one truly make sense. Thankfully I didn't wake him up when I went to check on the kids the other 5 times because I knew they were having serious problems (they weren't...they all slept fairly peacefully).

We will be going to the doctor later this morning to make sure Connor is okay. I also got Ariana in. I will keep you updated if anything needs updated.

How Many Days Until My Birthday?

Mommy: "There are 11 days left in July and then there are 17 days in August until your birthday. So 11 + 17."

Connor: "I don't have that many fingers."

This Is The Day

Ariana: "What day is today?"

Honor: "Thursday."

Ariana: "No, that was last week."


Yep. And it will happen again next week. Amazing how that happens!

So It Begins...

After his tumbling class, Connor came out to the lobby with this bit of information:

"Mom, I gave my friend my phone number and she said she would be calling me tonight when she gets home. I wrote it down on her coloring book so that she won't forget it. So, if the phone rings, it will be for me and I'm the only one who gets to talk to my friend. Mom, I'm glad that I have a friend that's a girl."

Well, that makes one of us...

Out of Control

Babies are easy.

Any new mother out there is now cursing me for saying such a blasphemous statement, but it's true. Babies. Are. Easy. They pretty much stay wherever you put them. They don't talk back. You are in control of everything from what they wear to what they eat--and even when their bottom gets wiped! Sure, they cry a lot, but most moms learn these cues fairly quickly and move on.

Then the babies begin to sit up.

All of a sudden the world changes. Should I touch this? Should I stick this in my mouth? A whole new world to explore! It is not long before you are saying, "No, Sweetie, don't pull on that cord or the giant lamp will fall on your head!" And if your children are anything at all like mine...she looked you straight in the eye and pulled on the cord. And so discipline begins.

Sharing. Hitting. Biting. MINE! Selfishness at its basic level. And our job is to teach them right from wrong. To show them that, "Jesus wants us to share." To teach them to be peacemakers. And to teach them truths about God.

One day, (and it happens all too quickly), they are no longer babies. Or even toddlers. They become children. Little humans with which you can actually carry on conversations. And so you start imparting your wisdom. Explaining to the children why we can't run into the street and why they shouldn't hit their younger (and bigger) brother. Teaching them the law of natural consequences. You get to use logic.

Then they grow up a little more and you get to have that same logic turned against you. Continuously. And it has only just begun for my family. I can only imagine how wonderful this will be in ten years!

Yes, babies require you to do everything for them, but I find that I like that. I realized today that my children are becoming self-sufficient. It was a goal of mine, but I didn't know that it would happen so soon. They dress themselves. They get their own drinks. The older three can even get their own food if I were inclined to allow it. They solve many of their own problems. They read. They write. They know how to spend money and tell time. They are mini-adults!

And as they get older, I will lose my grasp on them even further. One of these days Honor or Connor will ask to go next door to Aunt Stephie's house *gasp* without me. And then they will ask to spend the night at a friend's house. And then camp. And driving. And COLLEGE!!! **excuse me as I go take a breathing treatment...**

They will continue to grow up. I am glad for that--glad that my children will get to become my friends someday--but it scares me to no end. Soon I will have to watch as they make decisions--both good and bad--and bite my nails and pray that they heard all of the little lessons I tried to impart on them. Did Ariana and Honor learn that "boys are bad"??? (okay, I'm not really teaching them that...exactly). Did Connor and Samuel learn to be gentlemen? Did they all learn to say no to drugs/alcohol/cigarettes/eggs in frying pans???? Did I give them a solid Biblical background so they have the Sword to face the enemy when he attacks?

The world is full of dangers and I am only beginning to understand just exactly what I will be sending them into.

So, I will go back to my original statement: Babies are easy.

Until they grow up.

Girl Power

Mommy (reading from Honor's Phonics book): "Mom will fix the chair."

Honor: "No, Mom! It says Dad will fix the chair!"

Mommy: "No, Honey. Look. It says that Mom will fix the chair."

Honor: "But that's what Dad does!"

Mommy: "I can fix chairs too, Honor! I just let Daddy do it because he likes it more."

Honor: "Whatever." Complete with eye roll.


I have somehow engrained in my daughter's head that only Daddy fixes things. Granted, Daddy is an excellent handyman, but I can fix things too! Really. I mean, hasn't she seen my effectiveness with a staple gun? I'm a pro!

That's a Great Game!

Honor's little best friend, A, is spending the night with us because her mom just had a baby and I thought I'd give her a break. They are so cute together! On the way home from picking A up, the two girls decided to play "I Spy." The noise level was at an all-time high as the girls giggled uncontrollably about the fact that both were able to make the correct guess after only two turns. They played "I Spy" for 15 minutes or so and then A reminded me why she is my favorite of Honor's friends as well:

A: "Hey Honor, let's play the quiet game!"

Silence for the rest of the car ride home. I love that A!

Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave...

Connor is very observant. He has noticed that the Tooth Fairy uses many of the materials from our own home in the notes/gifts that she leaves. I have had to explain to him that the Tooth Fairy is like a bird in that she grabs whatever she can find to use in her gifts....including possibly using my special edge cutting scissors. It has him satisfied...for now. Who knows how long that will last? Especially when Mommy messes up...

Yesterday, my fantastic in-laws babysat the children so that Daddy and I could go out on a date. We had a wonderful time and the kids were well-behaved (or so we were told). When we returned to pick them up, we learned that Connor had shown his loose tooth to Grandma and she couldn't resist the temptation to pluck it right out of his mouth. He was quite joyful about this since my son is a budding extortionist who enjoys using his teeth as bait to get money from the poor fairy kingdom who only want to fly. "Mom, I'm going to pull out all of my teeth so I can get LOTS of dollars from the Tooth Fairy!" See what I mean?

Connor happily hid his tooth under his pillow as soon as we got home and promptly fell sound asleep. Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy went upstairs to watch the lightning show being displayed by the first real monsoon of the season. After a while, Mommy fell asleep...completely forgetting about the Tooth Fairy.

The next morning, while I was outside doing chores, Daddy met me in the front yard. "Guess what didn't get done last night," he demanded, actually tapping his foot on the ground for good measure. I thought hard. I took care of the goats. I took care of the chickens. I fed the dogs. I fed the cats. Nothing else urgent had to happen.

"What?" I asked.

"I went downstairs to check on Connor this morning..."

"Oh no!" I interrupted, my eyes going wide as I realized my huge mistake.

"Yes! 'The Tooth Fairy didn't take my tooth!' was the first thing he said to me. He was crying so hard! Lucky for you I came up with an explanation: 'well, Son, maybe the lightning storm kept the Tooth Fairy away.'"

I'm so glad my husband is a quick thinker.

Mollified, Connor quickly decided to write the Tooth Fairy a note to leave under his pillow tonight along with the tooth. On one side he drew a picture of him standing outside our house with a happy sun and angry clouds. On the other side he wrote this:

Dear tooth faiy
why didn't you come yesterday
night.
Love Connor
my signitere
I Love you
tooth faiy

Can you say "pitiful"?

On the way to church, Connor announced that, "maybe the Tooth Fairy will give me two dollars tonight because she missed last night!" See...extortionist.

So...the Tooth Fairy wrote the following note to cover her tracks:

DEAREST CONNOR,

PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MISSING YOU LAST EVENING. YESTERDAY WAS MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB AS YOUR TOOTH FAIRY AND THE LIGHTNING MADE IT DIFFICULT TO FIND YOUR HOME. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR DONATION TO OUR FLIGHT FUND. I HAVE ENCLOSED TWO DOLLARS FOR YOUR REWARD BECAUSE I WAS LATE. THANK YOU FOR TAKING SUCH GOOD CARE OF YOUR TEETH.

~YOUR TOOTH FAIRY
P.S. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY PICTURE!

Daddy sniggered heartily when he read the note. The Tooth Fairy wrapped the note and two dollars around a stick and placed it under his pillow this evening. She can't forget the stick--it's both Honor's and Connor's favorite part!

I can only hope that the children will look back on the Tooth Fairy with memories of a fun game rather than the beginning of the days when they learned that their Mommy was not to be trusted...

Shhh....It's a Secret

The boys are going through a "secret identity" phase of life after watching the 60's version of Batman...

Connor is constantly inviting me into his "secret laboratory" (his bedroom) and Samuel...well Samuel is a little more literal about his crime fighting abilities...

Samuel:

"Don't tell anyone, but when I grow up, I'm going to be a policeman when I'm five!"


Sure, Son, your secret identity is safe with me.

Let's Go to the Movies

This morning, Connor asked if he could make a movie. Having never had that question before, I thought about it for a few minutes and then decided, "Hey, why not? We're stuck inside because of irrigation anyway. Okay!"

So the five of us (me and the children) sat down and came up with a plot. I wrote down the plot and had veto power (Connor, no killing...sorry), but otherwise this was entirely their idea. We went ahead and made the movie, but you have to be my friend on facebook to see it...come be my friend!

And here is the original "script":

Pirates and Dragons

Captain John and his twin sister Pirate Jane were sailing along with First Mate Pete when Captain John spotted an island. "Go and investigate, Pirate Jane," said Captain John.

"Aye, Aye, Captain John!" said Pirate Jane.

Scene Change

Siren Butterfly is singing on the island. Pirate Jane hears the beautiful music and looks through her telescope to see a beautiful siren mermaid. She is enchanted by her musical voice. Suddenly, Siren Butterfly turns Pirate Jane into a dragon to guard her island.

Scene Change

Captain John and First Mate Pete notice Pirate Jane's telescope floating in the water and realize something has happened to her. They go to investigate.

Scene Change

(In the original script, Captain John and First Mate Pete see the Siren and cover their ears, but we skipped that in the actual movie...First Mate Pete wasn't cooperating...)

They see a dragon guarding Siren Butterfly and try to kill it, but the dragon says not to kill her because she's his sister.

Realizing that she cannot trap them in a song, the siren mermaid traps the boys in a cage. Captain John and First Mate Pete cut through the trap with their swords and head towards Siren Butterfly. With his magic sword, Captain John cuts through the evil spell surrounding the siren mermaid that an evil fairy put on her.

Grateful to be free of the evil spell, Siren Butterfly turns Pirate Jane back into Pirate Jane and they all live Happily Ever After.