Hold Me Accountable....PLEASE

Deutoronomy 6:4-7
4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

My biggest dream for my children is to see all of them, not only come to know the Lord as their Savior, but to actively serve Him with their lives (however that plays out). I strive to live up to this verse daily. We don't just "do" church on Sundays, but God is a part of every aspect of our day. When we wake up in the morning, we listen to and sing children's worship songs. We pray for our meals. We thank God throughout the day for various things with which He blesses us. We talk about how He created everything, how He thinks we're special, and how He loved us so much that He sent His only son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so that we could go to heaven to be with Him. When they are naughty, we tell them it makes God sad when they sin. We teach them that it is right to be kind to our neighbors and friends because God loves us. We read from the Bible and we read children's stories about God and Biblical characters. Most of the DVDs we let the kids watch have some sort of Biblical theme. We pray with the kids before they go to sleep and if we forget, they remind us. And periodically I will catch Honor singing Sunday school songs to the other kids and by herself.

Wow, until I wrote all that out, I didn't realize HOW much we do talk about and praise God! But that is why I am writing this. I feel convicted that we don't do enough. Now I realize that I have very little to do with their salvation. When the Holy Spirit chooses to draw them near, they have the choice to accept or not...I have absolutely nothing to do with that. That being said, I want them to have as clear an understanding about God as possible because I believe a child can get saved at an early age--I believe the age of accountability can happen as early as age 4 (or even younger!). All you need to get saved is faith in Christ and repentance of your sins and small children can get it!

Matthew 19:13-15
13 Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And He laid His hands on them and departed from there.

(Mark 10:13-15, and Luke 18:15-17 offer parallel accounts)

I feel like I am not preparing them as well as I should. Yes, I share with them and Daddy shares with them, but if they are only hearing it from us, they could just think it is something that just our family does/believes. We take them to church with us and they have a great time in the nursery playing with the other kids, but we rarely make it to Sunday School and that is where I feel convicted right now. Nursery is just one big playgroup. Sure there are books with Bible stories in there and some teachers lead them in Sunday school songs, but it is not active learning. Our church has a Sunday school class for 2's-3's and I feel like I am not doing my part because I don't make taking them to Sunday school a priority. We make the excuse that we live 40 minutes away and we have to get them up early to be at church by 9:15, but we are able to get them to their visit on Wednesday mornings by 9:00 over an hour away! We are being lazy by not making Sunday school a priority and I intend to stop that. Why is it so important for me? Its not just because I feel like they would grow more spiritually if they went to Sunday School, but because I feel the Bible is very clear that they need to be included in the "assembling of ourselves".

2 Chronicles 20:13
Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children, stood before the LORD.

Ezra 10:1 1
Now while Ezra was praying, and while he was confessing, weeping, and bowing down before the house of God, a very large assembly of men, women, and children gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept very bitterly.

Joel 2: 12-16
"Now, therefore,” says the LORD, “ Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” 13 So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm. 14 Who knows if He will turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind Him— A grain offering and a drink offering for the LORD your God? 15 Blow the trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast, call a sacred assembly; 16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children and nursing babes; let the bridegroom go out from his chamber, and the bride from her dressing room.

I don't think someone else will "teach" the Bible better than us simply because I believe the Holy Spirit reveals His Word, not me. But I do think it is very important for them to have fellowship with other believers and I feel that they will get more edification from hearing Bible stories taught with a different spin on them than we give them. And these verses (that I heard on Sunday from our pastor's sermon on worship) make it very clear that God wants them in worship with us and that is what is most important. Just like I come away with new ideas from each sermon I listen to, I want them to have a chance to grow.

I want to make Sunday School a part of our regular routine again. It is not feasible for us to make it to evening church at this point because of nap schedules, but we can at least make it to Sunday school. SOOOOOO...I am asking you all to keep me (us) accountable. Feel free to ask me how we're doing on this...I would appreciate it!

Samuel

Well it seems like everything happens all at once for this child. His top right tooth has finally popped through (I thought it had about a month ago, but it is definitely there now!) and with that tooth came new words (babbles): namely, "mama", "dada" and "baba". I can't even tell you which came first--he started saying them overnight and all 3 at once! He is also waving now--not purposefully yet, but definitely waving. Standing is his favorite thing to do...crawl, crawl, crawl, pull himself up to look around, crawl, crawl, crawl....all day long...and usually to things he shouldn't be playing with like the dog water and electrical cords (thankfully not at the same time!).

We had his 9 month doctor visit today. He got one shot which he took like a little man...barely a peep out of him. He weighs in at a whopping 22 pounds and is a gigantic 30 inches already! To put that in perspective, All 3 of the older kids weighed in at 28 pounds at their last dr. visit; Honor was 31 inches at 13 months...Ariana was 33 inches at age 2 and Connor was 34 inches at age 3 (Honor was 37 inches when she turned 3). That puts him in the 66th percentile for weight and 80+ percentile for height. We do have a big boy finally!!!! :-D


Bonus: New Honorism

Are they riding a Tri-Cycle? (pronounced "try" "Sigh""cle"...and I know that is not the correct way to write that, but since I don't know how to write sounds out well...TOO BAD! :-D)

Musical Chairs and Other Observations

There are days when I feel like I am playing a game of musical chairs with my children....and I'm the chair. It seems as soon as my lap is empty, another child is climbing up. Sometimes I will have ALL of my children on my lap at once (they find a way!), sometimes just the girls and sometimes just the boys. Usually it is just one at a time, but literally as soon as I sit down, someone is bound to be sitting with me. Even as I type one (or more) children try desperately to climb under my arms and into my lap. I hate to turn them away so I find myself writing the same e-mail 5 times due to little fingers "accidentally" pushing buttons. What would normally take me 5 minutes ends up taking 30. And my husband asks me why I take so long on the computer!

Speaking of "the girls", I have unconsciously formed a clique in my home. Honor often refers to herself as "one of the girls" and occasionally tells Connor that he cannot join in because this is just for "the girls", or he can't go in his old room because it belongs to "the girls" now. I know I should stop this before it gets any bigger, but I can't help but be flattered that I am included in this group. I was never really part of any clique in high school so I am getting some sort of warped sense of inclusion when "us girls" are doing something. Sigh.

There is some sort of psycho mumbo jumbo out there where little girls secretly want to marry their fathers and little boys want to marry their mothers. I don't know how accurate this is--although my husband often reminds me of my own daddy, and despite my husband's adamant denials, there are SEVERAL similarities between me and my mother-in-law....hmmmmm. Honor and Ariana seem to have no interest in daddy if mommy happens to be around. However, Connor occasionally shows that this may be true in his case. He is a very affectionate boy.
As a family we were watching "Enchanted" (which I think is a very cute movie). There is a scene in which a husband kisses his wife passionately. Connor happened to be sitting on my lap (his turn in the "chair" I guess) and he turned around and planted one on my lips while moving his head from side to side murmuring "mmmmmmm". Daddy and I laughed really loud which was a big mistake since Connor took this for encouragement. He grabbed my face in both hands and proceeded to hold me hostage as he tried hard to kiss my lips again while I was dodging my head from side to side, requiring Daddy to get up and physically lift him off of my lap and make some comment about making moves on his wife. We often wonder how that one will be with the ladies...

Mommy Said So!

Samuel was up from 12:30-3 on Tuesday night. I got up with him several times, but each time I put him down, he would wake right back up and cry and there was little I could do. Daddy, hating to hear him cry and hoping he could help, graciously got up and tried walking with him for 20 minutes or so. It didn't work and we ended up eventually letting him cry himself to sleep (maybe 15 minutes).

ANYWAY...all that leading up to the reason my husband was tired on Wednesday. Even though he wasn't up with Samuel the whole time, he was awake for most of it, and he is not used to getting up in the middle of the night. We have to wake up fairly early on Wednesday morning to get the kids ready for their visit so by Wednesday afternoon he was acting a bit cranky. After we picked up the kids from their visit and were preparing for the hour long car ride back, we had a conversation that went something like this:

"Honey, do you want me to drive?"
"No. I'm fine."
"You seem pretty tired."
"I'm fine!"
"If you're tired, you really should take a nap. I'm fine. I'm used to getting up at night. I don't mind driving."
"NO! I'm FINE!"

"DADDY!" (Honor loves to break into our conversations whenever possible.) "Daddy, you need to take a nap! Mommy said so!"

Now why doesn't SHE listen to me when I tell HER to take a nap?????

I shouldn't brag....but...

I will anyway! :-D I am pretty sure Honor is almost ready to read!!! She's only 3 1/2 so I think that's pretty impressive. :-D Not as impressive as the 17 month old, but neither of Honor's parents are speech pathologists! (Chelleybutton I'm sure you will appreciate that article if you haven't read it yet. ;-P)

I don't believe in actively teaching kids to read until they are closer to kindergarten. I think open-ended play is the most important thing for a preschooler to learn--sparks the imagination and teaches them to think for themselves. That being said, we do have a lot of books and all of my kids love "story time" where they get to choose special books from the closet to read, but Honor doesn't always look at the book that I'm reading (she's an auditory learner). She's been singing her ABC's since before she was 2 (again auditory learner), and she's known how to spell her name for about a year now, but it caught me by complete surprise a little over a month ago when she started pointing to random letters and saying "That's a 'G'," etc. We have a lot of alphabet blocks and for Christmas we got the kids alphabet magnets, but I don't actively go over them with her, she plays with them by herself (and with the other kids). The only thing I can think is that she is learning a lot from the show "Word World" which is the only show I actually look forward to my kids watching (and which I literally just found out they now have out on DVD...I'm so excited!!!).

Anyway, she knows all of the capital letters, knows almost all of the lower case letters, knows all of the sounds they make, understands what a word actually is (from my experience, that is the hardest thing to teach a child who is learning to read), and she has been able to "read" in context (meaning I start a sentence and by using the words around it and the pictures on the page she is able to fill in the blank where I stop) for quite some time. I thought I was proud yesterday when she was spelling out words she saw (which is how I know she understands where the end of a word is)...although I wasn't necessarily proud of the words she was "reading", "c-i-g-a-r-e-t-t-e-s", "l-i-g-h-t-e-r-s" (we happened to be standing next to a sign advertising tobacco products...). But then today she pointed to the water faucet and said "That's an 'H' and that's a 'C'. That is HOT, and that is COLD. (And I make no joke here....we've NEVER taught her this) Mommy, 'C' is for 'COLD' and 'H' is for 'HOT'!" I about fell over I was so impressed! I don't think Word World has spelled out Hot and Cold yet so she figured this one out by herself (as far as I know). Can you see how puffed out my chest is!!! :-D

I am debating whether or not to actively teach her how to read. I am sure that if I actively taught her, she would know how to read by the end of the month, but that really goes against my teaching philosophy (play is a preschooler's best learning tool). I think we'll just keep doing what we're doing and see how much she picks up by herself. I might get her the Leap Frog "Word Whammer" toy to go with the rest of the magnetic letters and if she actually uses that, we might get the "Word Launch" game since she's really into video games right now....or we might get the Word Launch game anyway.

Now if I could only get her to learn to listen to mommy and daddy.........

The Image of Christ

One of my greatest pet peeves is pictures of Jesus. Yesterday on K-Love there was a story about a man who builds a sand sculpture of Jesus' crucifixion every year for Easter. While I understand that his heart is in the right place--he is trying to make Jesus' death, burial and resurrection come to life for others--he basically is building an idol every year. The same with people who have "paintings" of Jesus in their homes and especially the people who find "Jesus" in food, rocks, and burnt buildings. I think it is interesting that most people who find/have these pictures of Jesus use the Jesus from the Renaissance Era...you know, the one with Jesus with long, light brown hair and blue eyes, wearing all white with a halo over His head.

As for His appearance, what we do know is that He wasn't anything special looking. Jesus was Jewish. That means He most likely had dark hair and dark eyes and probably dark skin. It would have been VERY impractical for Him to walk around in white in the dirt back then and the only time He had any kind of glow about Him was the time when He went up on the mountain with Peter, James and John in Matthew 17: 2-9. When the chief priests and elders came to arrest Jesus, they needed Judas to show them who Jesus was...He didn't stand out of the crowd (must have left His halo home that day). I believe that God kept the writers pretty much silent on this topic because He wanted us to focus on the message rather than the physical form of that message.

Christ lived, was sacrificed, buried, and rose from the dead for everyone. His physical appearance could become a stumbling block for some: He's not strong enough to be my Christ, He's not handsome enough, He has the wrong skin color, He's too short or too tall, His hair/eyes were the wrong color, etc. It does not matter what He looked like, but I can guarantee that very few drawings of Him come close and by trying to come up with an image for Him, people are in essence "building a savior" to fit their needs. And the people who pray to these images truly are praying to idols. MY Savior is not an image, but a living being whom I can talk with, who hears my prayers and "speaks" to me if I am silent enough to hear. He brings joy and peace to those who seek Him and He is still changing lives everyday. I don't need a picture of Him because I carry Him VERY closely--in my heart.

Thinking of Becoming a Parent???

Another forward is making its way to my blog....but I easily could have written this (and actually did change a few things to make it more "me").....

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1
Go to the grocery store.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up the paper.
Read it for the last time

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
Methods of discipline.
Lack of patience.
Appallingly low tolerance.
Allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
...Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
Set the alarm for 3AM.
As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
Go to bed at 2:45AM.
Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
...Repeat these steps each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
Stick your fingers in the flower bed. Then rub them on the clean walls.
Take your favorite book, photo album, Wedding Mementos, etc. Wreck it.
Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons.
...How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a Yukon XL. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
...You are now ready to feed a nine month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Little Peoples, Barney, and Veggie Tales. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. For those who want more than one child, add in the goat from lesson 7 and try to keep it from destroying the room. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

A Message To All You Germ-A-Phobes Out There...

I've learned to have a take-it-or-leave-it approach to reading parenting articles...basically I agree with parenting articles that tell me I'm a good mom and disagree with those that don't. Upon reading my March issue of Parenting, I have found that once again I am a good mom...but not for reasons you might suspect. I found an article entitled, "Kids & Germs: shortcuts to keeping children clean--and healthy". I immediately devoured this article as I am always looking for shortcuts in the cleanliness department. Here they are for those of you who think like me:

1. Cleaning your hands with only a baby wipe after a diaper change.... been there done that--although I tend to go a step further and use anti-bacterial gel after wiping the poop off my hands with the baby wipe--that must put me in "Supermom" category!

2. Giving your child something--a bottle, a pacifier, a cookie--that has fallen on the ground.... the article goes on to say "in fact, when it comes to catching the latest cold or flu virus, the floor is no riskier than a tabletop or counter"...how appetizing! This reminds me of the day I picked up my mom from the hotel a little over a week ago and took all the kids to the park for a picnic. All three of my kids dropped their peanut butter sandwiches on the ground and proceeded to get down, brush off the grass and eat. My mom stared in horror as I told them, "yep, looks fine!" as they took a bite. She obviously is unaware that each of my children has tasted animal feces in various forms....oops--too much information I think--Supermom is going downhill a bit...

3. Skipping the bath for a day or two--or three.... I never even thought this one was up for debate! I'm lucky if my kids get TWO baths a week! Unless they smell or are visibly dirty, we figure they are clean enough--after all, they don't sweat! The article has a pediatrician stating that "we overbathe our children." Woohoo--score another one for Supermom!

4. Skipping toothbrushing.... "one or two nights without clean chompers is not going to cause a major problem." Okay, I'll have to admit that I was GLAD they put this one in there. I often forget to have my kids brush their teeth so this made me feel a whole lot less guilty! Of course the guilty feelings come back when I start to see the green film on their enamel.... uh, oh, TMI again! Supermom is about to crash!

5. Neglecting to dust or vacuum.... apparently, "the dust you see isn't what causes allergies or asthma. The real culprits are dust mites and other microscopic particles that settle in carpets, bedding and upholstery." They go on to say, "forgetting to vacuum may be a blessing in disguise. Vacuums stir up irritating fragments, like animal dander and other allergens." So in other words, the dust you see all over my tv and bookcases is left there ON PURPOSE so as not to stir up irritating fragments.....Supermom rises again!

6. Not changing the bathwater after your child has peed in it.... "urine is sterile"..... okay, I can honestly say that the only reason I have abode by this rule is simply a neglect to notice IF my kids have peed in the bathwater. Supermom is just floating by on this one.

7. Cleaning your child's face with your saliva.... okay really, who doesn't do this? "as long as you're not sick, it has some antibacterial properties; after all, it does protect your teeth and mouth." Supermom wets down Connor's hair for the umpteenth time today.

8. Letting your child use his sleeve as a hankie.... is better than letting it drip down his face into his mouth! "Once the secretions are dry, they really can't infect." We don't let them use their sleeves though...that's gross. The bottom of their shirts work just fine. Supermom rises again!

9. Skipping baby wipes when changing a wet diaper.... "the newest diapers are so absorbent, they actually take a lot of urine away from the skin." Besides...didn't we learn earlier that urine is sterile??? Now if this one had said "skipping changing a wet diaper until a poopie diaper comes along," my Supermom status would have risen considerably, however, I always use a baby wipe when changing a diaper since there is always poopie in there....coincidence, I think not....



So in conclusion, if you follow these simple 9 rules, you'll be as great a mom as me...and to all you germ-a-phobes out there: "nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!" :-P

Budding Artist...No Gardener

I can already see the potential for Connor to be artistic. He loves to spend hours drawing on the magna doodle and makes sculptures out of blocks (pretty much always robots). I have always known he was a visual learner (he HAS to see the page in order to follow a story, he actually stares at the tv instead of playing while it is on, when he has problems saying a word I have him "read my lips" and he is then able to say it, if I want him to remember something, he has to look at me, etc.), but I am continually amazed by his ability to see something and then draw it--albeit in 3 year old drawing style. His robots actually look like robots. If I ask him to draw a tree, it looks like a tree. He makes castles that look like castles. I can't even make castles that look like castles! And therein lies the problem. I am NOT an artist by anyone's standards. My children will no doubt be better at crafts than there dear old mommy. I try. I give them crayons and sidewalk chalk and watercolor paints and let them scribble to their hearts content, but someday they will need to learn the art of actually "making" things and I have no idea how to show them how. Which bothers me since I feel like I will be letting Connor down. He really does seem to have a natural inclination towards the visual arts and I want to encourage it as much as possible. I think that this will need to be taught to him by someone else....any volunteers....

I Must Be Nuts

Confession: when I wake up in the middle of the night, I find myself thanking God for the great gift that he has given me in my children. But often while in the middle of praising Him for these blessings, I will start to think about how quickly they are growing up. This leads me to ask Him to keep them young forever. Of course this is where the morbid thoughts come into play and I start pleading with Him NOT to keep them young forever because that would mean that He would need to take them home. So I change what I was asking Him for so that it is not that He would keep them young forever, but that He would allow time to stretch so I can spend as much time with them now as possible before they grow up and get married and have children of their own (I am now very emphatic that He PLEASE allow them to GROW UP), but then I feel the need to say that although I want them to grow up and get married and have children of their own, I want Him to return as soon as possible. But then I start to feel sad because it sure would be nice to see Honor and Ariana in their beautiful wedding dresses....but even still, come quickly Lord. I often spend a good 20-30 minutes praying along these lines in the middle of the night...only my Heavenly Father would be willing to listen to my crazy thoughts in these twilight hours. And oh, how I long to hold my children forever and ever during these times.

Then the next day arrives and the kids act like 3 year olds (including Ariana) and I find myself wistfully dreaming about nap time and bedtime....

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My sister-in-law wrote a blog regarding feelings she had that were similar to this (although much more distressful than anything I allow myself to dwell on...) and it is one of the BEST stories (for lack of a better description at this time) I have ever read. If you want to check it out, here it is, but I warn you...read it with a box of tissues! Worry, Rinse, Repeat


And yes, I know I am cheating by filling up my blogs with my SIL's blogs, but she is so entertaining I can't help sharing her blogs with everyone!

Honorisms

Honor likes to play her "princess" game. The princess game is Mario Party 8. Her favorite character is NOT the princess however, it is toadette (because she is pink). And she thinks that Connor should always play Toad, but he always wants to play Boo or Bones (bad guys...he's into bad guys right now). ANYWAY... we had rented Mario Party 8 for the Wii, but we had to turn it back in, much to the disappointment of Honor. "Mommy, I want to play my princess game!" "I know honey, but we had to turn it back in." Honor suddenly beams a huge smile, "I have a great idea! Let's go borrow it!" Now you would think that she knew what she was talking about here since we rent our games, but alas, you'd be wrong. Honor thinks that to borrow things means to buy them. So she was really confused this weekend when we got into Grandma's car and had to return it. "We have to take Grandma's car back now." "Why?" "Because we only borrowed it for the weekend." It took my the entire afternoon to explain to her why Grandma didn't have her car anymore...I still don't think she completely understands.

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Last night my daughter pointed to my chest and asked me what those were. "Those are Mommy's boobies, Honor." "Oh. Are those for Samuel?" It is hard not to laugh when she is asking such questions with such a serious little face. "Yes, they are the special bottles God gave Mommy to feed Samuel." "Oh. Does Samuel EAT those?"

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Today I had to return my mom and niece to the airport :-(. While on the way there, mom and I discussed the location of the terminal out of which she would be flying. See in Phoenix, we have 4 terminals for all of the different airplane companies to choose from. Since they were flying out on Northwest, they needed to be dropped off in Terminal 3. Honor, as usual, was listening more intently than we thought. As we pulled into the airport (through terminal 4), Honor loudly asked, "Are we in the animal turd, Mommy?"

Cleaning

My sister-in-law once wrote a very informative blog about her cleaning style entitled "Mrs. Clean". Although I am not as detail-oriented as my fair SIL, I feel as though I can understand her somewhat today--although I would NEVER stay up all night taking Q-tips to my stove top--mine is a lost cause anyway.... (by-the-way...for those of you who have not been blessed with the opportunity to read my sister-in-law's blog, be prepared to be thoroughly entertained...she is quite the writer!)

Today started out like any normal day: I got the kids up, fed them breakfast and sent them off to play so that I could get their clothes ready and the table cleaned up. By the time I got into the front room, they had completely torn it apart. This is pretty typical...which is why if you ever surprise me with a visit my house will look like a very strategic tornado landed right in the downstairs of my home and abruptly left without carrying anything away.

Normally I would make a game of having them pick up their toys, but today I felt like doing it myself. This is really a futile job since as soon as I am done picking up one area, they follow behind me to destroy it again. Fortunately luck was with me today and they decided to sit in the corner and have a tea party, leaving me to clean to my heart's content. This is how I became aware of several missing toys. Toys that used to be their favorites were nowhere to be found. My years of not reading Sherlock Holmes but pretending to know what they are all about have finally paid off and I deduced that the reason they were not in the front room was because the children could not get at them. And there is only one place where the kids will leave a toy and be unable to retrieve it back and that one place is...behind the couch.

Now some people might just reach back behind the couch and retrieve the toys, but I'm not "some people". Since the kids were playing so nicely together and since I had a burst of energy, I decided that this morning would be a good morning to shampoo the carpet. So I locked the kids in the front room, took Samuel up for his morning nap and came downstairs to get started. You must understand that I cannot just shampoo the areas that are seen--it bothers me enough that I only vacuum the areas that are seen. No, in order to thoroughly clean my carpet I must first move the kitchen table and all of the kitchen chairs back 3 feet, move the dog kennels so that they are under the kitchen table, roll up the rug and place it in the kitchen, take the little end tables and move them out into the hallway, take the play yard and all of the toys therein and move them into the kitchen, push the video game rocker further back into the kitchen and finally I get to perform the massive job of moving the sectional onto the tile floor (hence the need to move the table/chairs). This last job should be performed by two people since the sectional is not only big, but it also has a built-in pull-out ottoman and a recliner so it is extremely heavy, but I am not one to wait around for my husband to get the inclination to help me clean so I performed the superman stunt by myself--with cheers from Connor "Yeah! You're strong Mommy!" Yes son, I know.

After moving all of the furniture (except the tv and bookcase...I'm not THAT strong), I must now pick up the offending toys and put them back in the front room. "My phone!" Honor cries and lunges on all of the toys that have just been put in the room. "Honor, you have to share." In true Honor fashion, she immediately starts trying to give Connor and Ariana the least interesting of the toys--the plastic green pepper from the kitchen and the shoe. "No Honor, you can either have the dolls, the ABC magnet player or the phone...you can't have all three." Honor reluctantly takes the ABC magnet player and lets Ariana have the phone. Connor sits down next to Honor and plays with the ABC magnets--all is quiet....for now.

Now on to the actual cleaning. I pick up the random bits of trash that have some how managed to hide behind the couch. Then I vacuum up the 3 inches of dust bunnies that have accumulated. Finally, I take down my shampooer and slowly start pulling the suds out in perfectly straight lines. There really isn't a need for the lines to be so straight, but I just feel like it is cleaner when they are. It takes me 3 refills before my carpet is sudsed up correctly and I only have to stop 5 times to settle small disputes in the front room. While I am waiting for the shampoo to penetrate the months of dirt and grime that my children and dogs have placed in the fibers of my carpet, I sweep the floor. Ariana looks like a prisoner as she grabs the bars of the fence that crosses the front of the toy room and yells, "let me out! Help, Mommy, I want ooouuuuuuuuuuut!" I ask for patience. It is now 11:30 and I figure the shampoo from the first 4 lines has been sitting there long enough so I slowly start suctioning them up. I get a bizarre sense of pride from seeing the muddy water return to the carrier. I go back and forth over the same 4 lines 5 times. Once I feel it is dry enough, I start the next 4 lines. This puts me in front of the tv and I realize that my children (who are now climbing on the fence like monkeys at the zoo) could be watching "Word World" right now. So I turn off the vacuum and ask them if they would like to be buckled into their high chairs or remain free in the toy room. Emphatically they prefer to be buckled into their high chairs. So I lift the high chairs up over my head--dodging the cheerios and dried, unrecognizable food that falls out from underneath them all over my nicely swept floor--and place them on the edge of my tile...right over my nice clean carpet...I know...daring of me. Then I lift the kids out of the play room one by one and strap them in. Immediately I receive protests from Connor that he would prefer to be sitting at the table that is now hidden behind the couch, the play yard, the chairs, the rug, and the video game rocker. After assuring him that he will be put at the table for lunch, I am allowed to continue suctioning up the muddy water. I have to empty my tray 3 times...again I am excited about all of the dirt that I just got off of my floor.

Once I have finally finished suctioning the carpet, I feel like doing the rug, but since my carpet is not yet dried, I have to put the rug in the front room to clean. So I lift it up above my head and carry it into the front room which the tornado has once again visited. I push toys out of the way to clear a spot to unroll the rug. Then I slowly start sudsing up the rug line by line. By this time Word World is over and Barney has started. The kids are starting to complain that they are hungry so I come back into the living room and vacuum the area where the couch belongs. Then I vacuum the couch and every little crevice in the couch. Then I drag the couch back against the wall--it is not nearly as easy as it was the first time as fatigue is starting to set in. This time all of the children cheer on my feat of strength. Now I can move the kitchen table back a little bit.

Barney is over and lunch is still not ready so the kids are really complaining now. I pick them up over my head (high chairs and all), put them at the table and quickly slap together peanut butter sandwiches, canned fruit and wheat thins. Now, free of distractions, I continue on my quest for clean carpet...oh wait...Samuel needs to get up from his nap now. I run upstairs to grab Samuel and come downstairs to find Honor distributing blocks all over my carpet. "Honor, GET BACK IN YOUR HIGHCHAIR!" Patience left when fatigue entered in and Monster Mommy has emerged. The kids quickly start eating their food...no eye contact. That's okay....one less distraction. I place Samuel in his jumperoo and finish vacuuming the living room...horizontal to the left line by line, vertical upwards line by line, horizontal to the right line by line, vertical downwards line by line, diagonal following the tile line by line. Almost 3 hours later, I'M DONE! I finish moving the rest of the furniture back. I organize all of Samuel's toys in the play yard so he has a place to move around in the middle and easy access to all his toys on the side. I let the dogs out of their kennels...apparently Jasmine had gotten some dead grass on her before I locked her in and she spread dead grass on the tile floor. Thankfully it didn't make it to my carpet. I needed to re-sweep my floor anyway.

Ariana has now finished her lunch so I wipe her off and take her up to bed. Connor and Honor have been pretty good so I make the bargain that they can stay up and play for a little while longer. They immediately run over to my nice clean couch and start jumping on it. Then Connor does the unthinkable...he ties his blankie around his neck (because he's Superman) and runs into the kitchen....right over the dead grass that I haven't swept up yet. He then precedes to run back into the living room. My nice clean carpet now has grass all over it. Oh well...I still need to vacuum the rug so I'll just re-vacuum the living room and then I'll re-pick up all the toys...............

Food for Thought...

Not mine, but I thought it was good:

"Why is it that we are not good enough to home school our children but the schools can send home 2 to 4 hours worth of homework. What is that? HOME SCHOOLING."

(quoted from an anonymous commenter on an article about how Home schooling parents are reacting to a recent California appellate court decision outlawing the practice)

Good Morning!

I enter Honor and Ariana's room this morning to find two naked children laying amidst all of their stuffed animals and blankets. "What happened to all of your clothes????"I ask before they have even realized I've entered the room. Ariana immediately starts making her bed in anticipation of going downstairs. Honor dutifully answers me, "my diaper askidentally fell off." "How did it accidentally fall off?" "Ariana pulled it off." "Oh. Well did either of you have an accident on the floor?" "No, we didn't have ANY askidents!" "Well, where are your diapers?" By this time Ariana has finished putting all of her blankets back on her bed and is grabbing my hand to lead me downstairs. Honor looks at me as if I am an idiot and points to the top of their toy shelf/bookcase, "up there!" Oh....of course...what was I thinking?!!

As we head downstairs I notice that Connor (whom I sent down before getting the girls) has his "undeeewear" on his head. "Why do you have your underwear on your head Connor?" "I'm playing hide and go seek!"

Ariana starts her morning request, "I want eerios, flease."..."MOMMY, I want EEErios, flease."...."MOMMY, I WANT EERIOS, FLEEEASE MOMMY!" (I never move fast enough for her...) "You want broccoli?" Ariana has also mastered the "you're an idiot" look. "mumble, mumble, mumble, No, Mommy, I want EEEEERIOS. FLEASE!" As I set her in her high chair/booster seat, "I WILL DO IT!" so I shove her up next to the table and she buckles herself in. I grab the Cheerios box and her expression becomes rapturous as she shouts, "EEERIOS!!!!"

***warning...possibly too much information in this next section....***

When we are almost done with breakfast, Honor says her tummy hurts. "Are you going to throw up?" "No, I need to go poopie." She runs to the bathroom and makes it there just in time to have diarrhea on the toilet. I am so proud. "You didn't have an accident in your panties! I am so proud of you! It is hard to make it to the potty in time when you have diarrhea." "I know Mommy, I'm a big girl." With a pouty lip, "but my belly hurts, I have DIARRHEA." "Yes baby, I'm sorry your sick." "I have DIARRHEA Mommy. Mommy, tell me you're sorry I have DIARRHEA Mommy. Mommy, I have DIARRHEA." "Yes baby, I am sorry your tummy hurts." "MOMMY, I HAVE DIARRHEA. TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY I HAVE DIARRHEA." "I'm sorry you have diarrhea baby." "Thanks Mommy." Later I find out so does Ariana....it's going to be a FUN day for Mommy.

Whatever You Do, Don't Fall Asleep

I accidentally fell asleep during nap time...not a good idea. Last time that happened, Honor went upstairs and interrupted everyone else's naps so she could have playtime. I got smart after that episode and started locking the baby gates at both ends of the stairs (she can get past the bottom one, but not the top one...yet). She has been really good about falling asleep on the couch, but when she wakes up she likes to be sneaky so I try to anticipate the "naughtiness". Well, today I sat down on the couch and just "rested my eyes" for a second...that second turned into 5-10 minutes--not exactly sure, but I know it wasn't too long. I startled myself awake and noticed that Honor was no longer on the couch next to me. I started my frantic search of the downstairs area, "Honor, where are you?" I hear a little voice in the bathroom, "I'm in here Mom." I open the door to find Honor sitting naked in the bathroom sink with the water turned on.

 "What are you doing!!!!!"

"I'm taking a bath."

Gender Differences

I have the blessed opportunity of observing gender identities emerge firsthand on a daily basis. There are days where I feel like a mad scientist in a lab as I give my boys dolls to play with and my girls trucks and wait to see what happens. The contrasts are remarkable. If I give Honor a giant bulldozer and a race car to play with, she will "turn" the giant bulldozer into a "daddy" truck and the race car into a "baby" car and have them drive around looking for a "mommy" car. Connor will take the exact same two vehicles and immediately start ramming them together while making mock explosion sounds. It is intriguing to me how, no matter what I do, my boy acts like a "boy" and my girl acts like a "girl". Despite my best efforts, Honor hates to get dirty, loves to wear dresses and thinks it is perfectly acceptable to put on a veil and pretend to get married. Connor loves to get dirty, loves to take things apart to see how they work (i.e. destroy things), and thinks the best thing in the world is doing whatever it is Daddy is doing--often this includes laying on the couch doing nothing. Even the "little" ones follow suit--Ariana mimics everything Honor does and Samuel is already most interested in playing with cars and robots.

Honor and Connor love the same movies, but for blatantly different reasons. When given their DVDs to choose from, Connor often chooses to watch Beauty and the Beast. This is because there is a "monster" on the cover of the DVD. Honor, however, always points out that the dishes talk/sing and is engrossed by the scenes with Belle in her pretty dress. Honor and Ariana's current favorite movie is Cinderella. Honor always very sadly points out that they "broke Cinderella's lovely dress" and is captivated during the dance scenes with the Prince. Connor pays very little attention unless the mice are being attacked by the cat...basically Connor is fascinated any time there is any kind of "fight" scene.

After observing these differences for some time now, it shouldn't surprise me when they exhibit these gender traits....yet it still does. Today I gave the kids a Fisher Price catalog. Honor got a hold of it first. After she had looked at it for a little while, she called me into the front room..."Hey Mommy, come here, I want to show you something....I think I want this, this, this, this, and Connor can have this one and I'll have this one." I'm not sure I am ready for Connor to have a "groom" little person and Honor to have a "bride" little person.

Connor took the exact same Fisher Price catalog and also called me into the front room to show me what he wanted. (I don't let these children watch commercials for this very reason!) "Hey Mommy! Look at this! I LIKE this..."

Cinderella

As much as I love Disney's version of Cinderella--I think it is beautiful--I have some serious problems with it.

First of all, starting with the theme song in the beginning: "Cinderella, you're as lovely as your name"...let's examine this for a moment:

cinder - a partially or mostly burned piece of coal, wood, etc.
ella a female person or animal already spoken about

So basically the writers of this song feel that she is as lovely as a female burnt lump of coal. Lovely isn't quite the word I would use for that name.

a female person or animal already spoken about
Example: When the girl saw us, she asked the time.
Then we have the mice--they talk. This wouldn't bother me so much (it is a Disney movie after all) except NO OTHER ANIMAL TALKS!!! So apparently only mice are smart enough to talk. They are also the only ones modest enough to need clothes (although some of the female birds wear head kerchiefs). And now Honor thinks that all girl mice wear pretty dresses like her. Try explaining that one away...she doesn't believe me!

Then there is the fact that she lives in a large mansion and is the only one cleaning it. The evil step-mother/sisters give her "extra" chores to do for the afternoon and she is able to get it all done with time to spare to get dressed and look beautiful for the ball. I can barely manage to get my floor swept, a load of laundry done and a sink full of dishes washed in an afternoon and my house is no where near the size of a mansion!

Then she gets to the ball late and really only has about an hour to wear her beautiful new dress before she has to leave. That doesn't bother me as much as the fact that the prince falls so madly in love with her in that 1 hour that he vows never to marry anyone but her--yet he doesn't even know her name and all he does know about her is that she is beautiful, has a nice singing voice, has a problem with punctuality, wears extremely impractical shoes (they break when dropped!), and is too ignorant to know that she was dancing with the prince of her kingdom for an hour. What kind of message does THAT send to my children?

And finally, the mice again. It falls to them to rescue Cinderella from the tower. Yet it takes them almost 10 minutes to climb up 10 stairs. Then the "camera" pans to the top of the tower where Cinderella is... at least 5 times as many stairs. Now if you were to average it out, it took them about 1 stair per minute to get that key up there...well over an hour. Do you really think the Duke would wait around trying the glass slipper on two girls who are OBVIOUSLY not the right girl for over an hour? I think not! Why didn't they just have one of the sparrows fly the key up there? They can lift heavy sewing scissors after all, a key should be nothing! And why would Lucifer the cat (WHO ON EARTH WOULD NAME THEIR CAT AFTER THE DEVIL????) wait until the mice were all the way at the top before trying to catch them...it seems to me it would be easier to catch them while they are preoccupied with pushing the key up the stairs. Plus a lazy fat cat such as Lucifer would never want to run up all of those stairs. And how did Bruno get all the way up there without the evil women seeing him? No, no, no...just too many inconsistencies for this mild-mannered observer.

However, as I am a sucker for a good romance movie, I will continue to allow my children to watch Cinderella in hopes that one day my children will clean my house....

"Have faith in your dreams and someday....the dreams that you wish, will come true."